My fave flash

Years ago, a friend forwarded me this flash...and I cried the first time I watched it. As time goes by, every time I watch this flash, I can't help my tears from falling...till today.

Hope this flash may touch your heart...as it has touched mine :)

(taken from http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty_p.htm)

I would like to say special thanks to KIRO who created such wonderful flash and Sonyoungjin who sang such a beautiful song :) May God bless you :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all who read this blog...May through this beautiful flash, we got reminded of God's promise: He who once came as Saviour will come again as Lord and King. Come, Lord Jesus, come :D

UNIMAGINABLE

All this time, I have been in love with the Potter, who created and redeemed me in love :))

Never thought that one day, I could be in love with His clay :))

Perhaps...I notice the traces of the Potter's fingerprints all over His clay :))

Father God, thank You so much for this gift of love, which is unimaginable for me ever. Let me always be grateful for your awesome grace and treasure it throughout my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Short one #4

...So I rest in HIS love and cast all of my cares on HIM... :))

Regarding "IF"

There are many times when God answers my questions unexpectedly--in terms of timing, and ways of course :))

One of those questions (or matters if you want to say) are: I have too many of 'what if's running in my mind. And I got the answer in the midst of a book. Thus the quote which struck deep into my heart:

"In God's world there are no 'ifs'. No place is any safer than any other place. Our only safety is in the center of God's will. Let us pray that we know His will."-Betsie Ten Boom
(quoted from "Corrie Ten Boom-Faith Amidst Fear" by Sam Wellman.)

...thirsty...

Lord...

I'm thirsty...

Will You come and quench my thirsty soul?

Show me the way to Your heart...

Open my eyes to Your truth...

The beauty of Your statutes...

Whisper to my ears Your hidden revelation...

I long so much to know You more...

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.

Maxim of the day #6

You can hate sin without loving God, but you can not love God without hating sin. ~ Viola Deo

My Song of Creed

In response to the question of the hope in me, as it is written in:

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear"- 1 Pet 3:15 (NKJV)

I found this beautiful song represents the creed I believe...

IN CHRIST ALONE
-Adrienne Liesching & Geoff Moore

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand


For all the questions in life, those I've encountered and those which not yet, I found this truth answered them all :

For I am His, and He is mine...

From life's first cry to final breath...Jesus commands my destiny...

Come, Lord Jesus, come...

Friday Night

Usually, I don't blog on Friday Night. Not after a long day of work. But today, as I went home (late as usual)...somehow I want to share what God has blessed me with.

First, half the way on my late bus journey, I got the chance to talk with a new friend. She is working in the same building (not the same company). We only said hello all this time (when we happened to meet in the restroom). Tonight, God arranged that we can meet, in the bus. I'm on my way home after working overtime; she is on her way home from shopping :D

Then, half way, after she has left, I said a prayer to my Lord, of the matter which has been occupying my mind lately. Then I got reminded of this old song :

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.

When I feel afraid,
And think I've lost my way.
Still, You're there right beside me.

Nothing will I fear
As long as You are near;
Please be near me to the end.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet
And a light unto my path.

I will not forget
Your love for me and yet,
My heart forever is wandering.
Jesus be my guide,
And hold me to Your side,
And I will love You to the end.

Somehow, peace beyond understanding swept through my heart, as His promise:

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."~John 14:27 (NKJV)

As I sing the song over and over again, I got reminded that my Lord will faithfully guide me. I still have a thousand of what if questions in my mind...yes, my heart is still wondering. But then, as I sing the Word of God, knowing that He is faithful, I got His peace. Beyond understanding. I don't get the answers to my questions yet; but this much that I know, my heart will be still. Patiently await how God reveals it day after day His will. I just learn to rely on Him completely. Surrender...He will take care of it all. No matter what happen, I know, my heart will be safe in Him, in His hand.

Lord, thank You. You know how many times I was doubtful, thinking maybe somehow I have made mistakes or take a wrong path, but this time, I trust in You. I may not know what awaits me in the future. But this I know, You are faithful, and You are more than enough for me. Thank You Lord Jesus. In Your loving name I pray. Amen.

Maxim of the day #5

God knows to give the best to those who are willing to wait for Him.~Viola Deo

God is indeed faithful...

Been reading Corrie Ten Boom's "In My Father's House"...and can't help my tears from falling...

There are many stories which touched my heart...but the two which are the most unforgettable to me are the "From Generation to Generation" and "Let the Children Come" stories.

In "From Generation to Generation", Corrie shared how her grandfather, together with his minister, were faithfully praying for God's people, the Jews. Unexpectedly, God answered the prayers exactly 100 years later, where her father and her sisters and her brother's son sacrificed their lives for helping and hiding the Jews. Corrie herself were also imprisoned. This all happened in the same house, which used to be the place for the prayer gathering and then for the fulfillment of those prayers.

My mind flew back to the memories of my senior high school years. There were many spiritual lessons which I have learned back then. One of those is how faithful God is in answering our prayers. Back then, there was no christian student fellowship in my school. Several christian students were gathering once a week for praying. Praying for the school, the students, the teachers, and of course, so that there will be christian fellowship in the school. We faced such a tough opposition, for every week we had to secure a place in the school to pray. At first we used the classroom after school hour was over, but then it was forbidden. Then we moved into the student counseling room, which were much smaller than the classroom. But our place of 'refuge' was not for a long period. In such a short time, we all were banned to pray. At that time, somehow, deep in my heart, and my friends' hearts, we believe that we had planted the seeds. Tough may it seemed, but yet, we believe there is nothing useless when we're doing God's will faithfully. Then I graduated from the school and never heard anything about it again. Years later, my youngest sister happened to enroll in this same school. One day she shared how the christian student fellowship had just started and how God was providing every support they need abundantly. God even arranged one church located across the school which opened the place for the students to have the fellowship every Friday. Previously, during my days, there was only a blank field across the school...

It was such a meaningful lesson for me, for God reminded me of how He heard those prayers, even though back then we had to sneak around just to find a safe place to pray. A prayer, offered fervently before God, is heard. And God is indeed faithful in answering...

In Corrie's stories, it took 100 years for God to answer her grandfathers' prayer. In my story, it only took 3 years. It doesn't matter how long it may seemed, as long as we have faith in the Most Faithful One, He indeed will answer our prayers...

So glad that the Lord we serve is the One whose faithfulness is stretching far beyond our life time. How comforting to know, that many of our prayers, which we may not see the result in our life time, but then, in God's kairos, there will come the time for the answers to our prayers.

In "Let the Children Come", Corrie shared a story about a little girl named Mary. Corrie had just finished speaking to a group of parents, challenging them to bring their little children to Christ. For Corrie herself had made the decision for Jesus when she was 5 years old. One of the parents, who had a little daughter named Mary, went home and did what just had been taught. That night, her little girl gave her heart to Jesus in her bed. The next morning, this little girl was joyfully went to school, singing many songs about heaven, for she was so happy knowing that Jesus was now in her heart and made her a child of God. That particular day, an accident happened, her little girl was hit by a car and killed immediately. This sad news was shocking, but then the father of this little girl, who never made a decision for Lord Jesus, accepted Jesus as his Saviour that day. And on the burials day, many of Mary's friends came to the Lord as well.

Talk about obedience to God, to obey Him right away when we heard His truth. Talk about changing our mindset. So many times, we take lightly of chance and time, thinking that there will always someday to talk to someone or do something which we know God wants us to do. Often, we are lazy, or if not, we are crippled by our own fear. We choose comfort over obedience...God, please forgive me, for my disobedience, out of laziness and fear, I often delaying obeying You...Let me focus on You instead of myself or situation. For You know the best...give me a willing heart to obey You fully, with no reservation.

We also took lightly to tell the little children the Good News of salvation, thinking that when they grow older, we'll let them know. I have to testify, if I never knew Jesus since my young age, I would never live until today...I owe so much to those who bring me to Christ in my early childhood. Coming from a non-Christian family background, one thing which I am so grateful throughout the years is that God allows me to know Him in my early age. I know for different people, God has His own timing in meeting them. But I'm forever grateful that God choose to let me know Him in my childhood.

Lord Jesus, how can I ever say thank You...Words could not express what is in my heart...for Your love is flowing continuously and changing my life...Thank You for allowing even little children to come to know You...You are awesome...In Jesus' mighty name I pray, Amen.

An open prayer

Dearest Abba,

Thank You ...for everything...

I know You're always on time...never too late...though some may think it may be too late (10 years? :P)

Unexpectedly, slipping slowly, softly, yet surely into my heart...

No matter what awaits for me in the future, Daddy, I give You my heart, my life, my future... I know, You know the best for your beloved children...I'll be waiting for You, for Your perfect will...

I've learned, I don't need to know where we're going, as long as I walk side by side with the One who loves me, I will be just fine. The road may seemed turned and twisted unknowingly, yet I know, I will be safe and sound in the end, reaching Your destination. It's not only heading to the right way, but also enjoying all along the journey with You-though I may seemed at times got lost :P

Hold my hands, my beloved Saviour, my heart is ready by Your grace.

Thank you once again...

Love,

Viola Deo

Isaiah 41:13 For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'

The other face of love

When I first get to know God, I heard that He is love, and He loves all the people in the world including me, regardless of my condition.

When I later getting to know Him more, I learn that knowing that He loves me in my mind affects me not so much compared to realizing that He truly loves me in my heart.

Then lately, I learn that to know Him is really to know Love, in all of it rich aspects, all of the beauty and the power and the hope and...(you may fill the blank)... it brings.

Of all those lessons I learn about love from Love Himself, one that really spoke to my heart is about the other face of love.

Supposed love is shown in one surface of coin, then have you ever wonder what is the other side of the coin? What is the face of the other side?

Now, before we think too hard into the theological side, let's slow down a bit and ask ourselves something which we -if we ever in love or just have a slight crush- will face: how much will you risk for love?

I believe everyone, as long as you've been alive in this fallen world, ever experience the pain of rejection, to a certain degree. Some even experience it before they get the chance to see the world (read: aborted child). Some, appears to be never experience the pain, yet live in bitterness or simply apathy towards all forms of love. Some, learning from pain in the past, simply live in fear, trying to be as careful as possible, not to face the same pain again. Some, triumphant over the pain of rejection in the past and able to love again...and receive love in return in the end.

What I learn from Love Himself, is something struck me into the deepest part of my heart.
He, the One who created us, give us the opportunity to receive or reject Him. Not only that, He even let us full freedom to choose, out of His noble characters, though He already knows the outcomes even before we choose.

I always thought that John 3:16 (For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.~NKJV) is a verse describing the great love of God. Not that it's not true, but now that I learn the truth (God opened my eyes actually), the verse which describe the greatness of God's love is first found verses before that one ever written. It describe the risk God took to show His love:

He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. ~John 1:11 (NKJV)

God knows all things before it happens, yet He still came. Imagine this: supposed we are in His place, will we still come? Will we risk our heart to be rejected? Often, when we face with the choice to love and not to love, we know we have to take some risk. Our typical reaction is, we take the chance if we regard the good possibilities will come. Let me illustrate this to give you a better picture.

When someone have a crush or falling in love, what may happen is:

For some people, simply taking decision to respond based on feelings or some silly yes-no mechanism (like pulling the sepal of a flower and see where it ends : he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, and so on).

Others, trying to be a bit sophisticated, try to analyze all the sayings and attitudes and finally come to conclusion (OK, she said this: is she up to something?; She smiles to me ten times this week: that means something, right?)

Some, simply applying the law of probabilities: if I continue on, I have listed down 5 possible scenarios :
1.we may end up madly in love with each other,
2.he/she may like me, but I'm not towards him/her
3.both of us just being friends with each other, no intense feelings of whatsoever
4.I like him/her, but he/she doesn't like me
5.both of us don't like each other
Now, out of 5 probabilities above, the bad outcomes only 2 (for some, the bad ones are scenario no.2 and no.4; for others, no.4 and no.5). I got 3:2 probability; conclusion: I'll go on with this.

I can give many more examples, not only for man-woman relationship, but also between friends, family, etc. Not only in the preliminary stage, but also in different stage and depths of relationship. But the point I want to stress here is that, we want to avoid the pain of rejection as much as possible. Not that we don't want to love, but we just don't want to love with the pain of being rejected. If we somehow figure out that it will be an unrequited love, we won't take the chance. But how about God?

As always, God amazed me with the depth of love He shows--something that I could never completely understand, yet grateful to get just a glimpse of it. God didn't do it the way we did-- thank God! HALLELUJAH!

He still came, even though He knew, He will be rejected. He loves us, when we are completely unworthy of His love, as written:

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.~Romans 5:8 (NKJV)

He did not withheld His love, and said things like this: OK, I want to see that you repent first, then I'll come. Or, He said: I want to see you come begging, kneeling, crawling, asking for mercy that I will consider to come and show you mercy. Thank God He didn't do it, 'cause we are unable to come to Him without He first come to us.

So, finally we come to the answer of the question above. What is the other face of love? What is the character of True Love, which God demonstrate to us undoubtedly?

HUMILITY

God, given that He is God, the Almighty, the Ruler of this Universe, who has all the power, who owns everything, is humble enough to come to one of His created beings, becoming one of them, to show His love. He comes to show His love, to share His thought, to give His whole heart...to risk to be rejected.

To the fallen beings who don't even have a slight idea what it is to be truly loved in the first place. To the ones who not only can choose not to appreciate it, but can also despise it with all their might. He continued on with His mission, till the cross, because He has full love, not partial love. Finishing love, not discontinuance love. Love which prevails till the end, no matter what the cost, no matter what the risk. Even when He already knew....

When He taught me this, the question the Spirit whispered into my heart was : how humble are you to love? How far will you go for love? How much will you risk, regardless of the responses of those you love? Then He continued on with something I won't forget:

I am perfect in love, for I am humble enough to be fully rejected.

The greatest rejection that Lord Jesus ever experience is not the coming from the people. The greatest rejection Lord Jesus ever experienced is the rejection of Father, when He bore our sin on the cross. Remember, Jesus have a perfect love bond with the Father. When He chose to come to this earth, He's not only risk to be separated from the Father He loves (as well as from the Father side--Jesus is His beloved Son). He also took the risk to be rejected totally from the Father, to bear our sin, for our sake, His beloved people. While for Father, nothing hurts more than to see His beloved Son to be rejected.

To be rejected by those you don't love is one thing, to be rejected by the one you love the most is another thing.

Then, afterwards, even until today, He still risks to be rejected by the people He created in the first place, by us...

This truth not only taught me about the other face of true love, it also taught me the key to true humility. Humble person loves perfectly. You can never have one without another. And you can never get that on your own, you need True Love, True Humble God, to show you, to teach you, and to give His love in your heart to love the way He does to you. Are you willing to take the risk?

Father God, thank You for loving us completely, even though it means You had to give up your beloved Son; Lord Jesus, thank You for demonstrating God's love, even though it means You have to be rejected, by Father Himself and by Your people; Holy Spirit, please forgive us, for many times, we have grieved You by rejecting the loving touch of You which will lead us to repentance. Thank You, for teaching me the other face of love. Help me, to love You with all my heart and my might, and to extend Your love, which I have received from You, to others. In the name of loving Jesus I pray, amen.

???

What is it in Your mind? I was wondering...have I gone too far? Or I'm just at the brink of Your perfect will?

Guess this is like the moment, when You called Peter to step out of the boat, and walk on the water...

Not only I never walk on the water before...naturally I am a lousy swimmer as well.

Oh, God, hands up---I surrender all: be it unto me according to Your will.

Voiceless Ramble

Facing trials and temptations
Bearing pain and false accusations
Dreaming of sudden sweet release
To be free from all these fatigue

Entering slowly into the prayer chamber
Looking upon the Face adorable ever
In the midst of soul turmoil and restlessness
Finding answer beyond awareness

The reason of not having despair
Not lying in the strength of one’s flair
Might as well fall, fall flat on the ground
Breaking into trillion of pieces can't be found

At the end of one's entire efforts
Waiting another open door
Unlocking through helplessness
In the presence of hopelessness

Gathering power not of self own
Relying on the nail scarred hands
Reaching out in faith and hope
That someday this battle will end

Meanwhile, as the clock is still ticking
A failure is just a momentary pause
As the heart is still pounding
Dedicating each for Your cause

Need not clear explanation
For every life springing question
Just a simple grace every second
Treading this path till the beyond

At the end of strength, in the midst of failure, thank You for walking beside me and reminding me of the battle perspective and how the war has been won...Lord, please forgive me, cleanse me with Your blood, I'm reaching out for You. Take me under Your wing of healing and carry me through this storm. Amen.

O Love that wilt not let me go...

Of all the hymns that I love, there is one that's resounding in my life. It's not as popular as Amazing Grace, or I Surrender All, or Blessed Assurance, but I think the 4 verses really cover the different aspects of God's characteristics in our life.Though I've never had a chance to sing it in church worship services, I'm so glad that God still let me learn the sweet tune and beautiful lyrics. My most favourite part is in the first line of verse 1 (which reminds me of a sweet whisper one moment in my life long ago) and verse 3. I hope you all may enjoy these 4 wonderful verses also:

O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go
(Text: George Matheson, 1842-1906;Music: Albert L. Peace, 1844-1912)

1. O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee;
I give Thee back the life I owe,
that in Thine ocean depths
its flow may richer, fuller be.

2. O Light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to Thee;
my heart restores its borrowed ray,
that in Thy sunshine's blaze
its day may brighter, fairer be.

3. O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee;
I trace the rainbow thru the rain,
and feel the promise is not vain,
that morn shall tearless be.

4. O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from Thee;
I lay in dust life's glory dead,
and from the ground there blossoms
red life that shall endless be.

(Lyrics taken from: http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh480.sht)

If you wondering how the song sounds, just click the link above and enjoy the music...God bless:)

Maxim of the day #4

The extent of our surrender to God goes hand in hand with the depth of our trust in Him.~Viola Deo

Life, Love, & Other Mysteries

Facing questions unanswered...so glad that the answer of all is reflected through a beautiful song, sung by Point of Grace:

Life Love And Other Mysteries ~Point of Grace

You are Lord of life, love and other mysteries
I find in You all I ever need to know

VERSE 1
Some say that life is a string of romances
To some its a series of choices and chances
While some only live for the curious dances
Of whatever music's at hand

VERSE 2
Some look for love in the eyes of a stranger
While some love the thrill of the edges of danger
But I have found joy in a world filled with anger
Cause I finally understand

CHORUS
You are Lord of life, love and other mysteries
You know my future, You know my history
I find in You all I ever need to know
About life and love and other mysteries

VERSE 3
I cannot reason with man in defiance
Or try to explain all the mysteries of science
Cause I'm just a child in the face of these giants
But I never face them alone

VERSE 4
Cause when it seems that my heart is surrounded
When all of our questions of life have been sounded
I rest in the hope where my faith has been grounded
I do not fear the unknown

Repeat CHORUS

BRIDGE
Your wisdom confounds the wisest of wise
Your mercy is truth in a world full of lies
Your grace saves us all from a certain demise

Repeat CHORUS (2 TIMES)

You are Lord of life, You're Lord of love(and other mysteries)
You are Lord of life, You're Lord of love(other mysteries)

Lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsdownload.com/point-of-grace-life-love-and-other-mysteries-lyrics.html

Maxim of the day #3

You can truly love people for God, but you can never truly love God for people.~Viola Deo

Knocking Inspiration

This week, surprisingly, got a message from someone who is very dear to my heart:

The difference btw Jesus & a human

Jesus says: "ask and ye shall received"
man says: "ask and see if i can give it"
Jesus says: "seek and you shall find"
man says: "you can seek me, but i may not be there"
Jesus says: "knock and the door shall be opened"
man says: "knock but i may not be at home" :p

wish u love Jesus more this weekend :)

So, praying to God I can love Him more and more, not this weekend only, but second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, til I meet Him face to face in the eternity...in all I think, feel, do, say, with all I am. In Jesus' Mighty Name, Amen.

Apology

I think I want to apologize to whoever happened to stop by & read my blog and found that my grammar still slips here and there, or the composition is not so well. I'm working on that actually...hopefully, I can improve.

Though I have to admit, I write not because my english writing is perfect. I write because of what is in my heart. But reflecting on my weaknesses, somehow, I'm so humbled by the fact that despite my limitations, God still pour out His messages into my heart to be shared through writing, in a foreign language.

So, please be patient, God has not finished with me yet. While I'm striving to serve Him better, let's praise Him for His mercy and grace...Amazing Grace, for a wretched like me...

Sweet little surprise :D

It's been a tough week...yet...surprisingly, God gave a sweet little surprise.

Started like an ordinary day at work. Got called to attend a meeting...in such a short period time of notice (half hour only).

Then, when I got there, I got more than just doing my work.

I got a brand new DIGITAL CAMERA, 5 mega pixel, plus the 512 MB memory card.

Couldn't believe it the first time, still amazed until now...

Dear Lord,

Thank You for this sweet little surprise. You know every details of my life. My desire and my longing, my needs and my wants. I'm speechless Lord, not because of what I got, but because of Your care. Thank You, for giving such a lovely attention.

Forever grateful,

Viola Deo

Maxim of the day # 2

Our true worth does not lie in what we have or even whom we have, but in Who have us instead. ~ Viola Deo

Maxim of the day # 1

We can only experience a light heart by letting the True Light shines in it. The more the Light, the lighter our heart become. ~ Viola Deo

Deeper in Love

One of my favourites of all times, by Don Moen:

DEEPER IN LOVE

There is a longing, only You can fill
A raging tempest, only You can still
My soul is thirsty, Lord,
to know You as I'm known
Drink from the river,
that flows before Your throne

Chorus:

Take me deeper, deeper in love with You
Jesus, hold me close in Your embrace
Take me deeper, deeper than I've ever been before
I just want to love You more and more
How I long to be deeper in love

Sunrise to sunrise,
I would seek Your face
Drawn by the Spirit,
to the promise of Your grace
My heart has found in You
A hope that will abide
Here in Your presence
Forever satisfied

Repeat chorus

In the midst of sorrow, thank You for the comfort, of the truth about Your love and faithfulness. I know, You're crying here with me. I give thanks, I give praise, despite my grief, for I know, that all things work together for my good. For by faith, I know that Your grace will see me through, and You will never forsake me. Thank You Jesus. In Your loving name I pray. Amen.

True Prayer

In our lives--in the middle of tight schedules, and struggles of daily living--it is so easy for us to lose our true prayer life. Now, what happen is not that we are not praying at all. As the matter of fact, we do. But it is what drives our prayer life which really concerns me. I'm really grateful for the fact that even in our limitation and not-so-right approach towards prayer, He still a compassionate and faithful God, who answers graciously. Not that we think only big matters we need to hand over to God in prayer. Every tiny bits of our life matters, as a matter of fact, needs to be commit into God's hand. And regarding Him as our Provider, it is a right thing to do for us to come to the Lord in prayer for guidance, help, and blessings. It's a good habit, for we couldn't carry on without Him. But what I want to share here is beyond that.

What I got reminded this week, is the proportion of the reason behind our approaching God. Giving thanks every time we want to eat, well, that's one of habit. Praising Him every time we feel the joy of the Lord, that's another habit to cultivate. But most of the time, we're hurry to say our prayer, because there is a problem in our lives. It may be small, it may be huge. It may be a longing or need; it may be a uncomfortable situation we want to be gone as soon as possible. It could be also prayer request for those who dear to our hearts. Not that saying all these prayers are wrong or forbidden. God really wants us to trust Him with the matters of our lives. But more than that, He longs to connect with our hearts. And we are created for a close relationship with Him.

This truth should immerse our prayer lives also. When we approach Him in prayer, what are really driving us towards Him? Problems? Fears? Or deep longings for Him?

When I come to learn this truth, I realize somehow, there are some misunderstanding about God which I need to renounce. One of the misunderstanding which often slipped into our mind is that for every problems which occurred in our life, God allows it to bring us closer to Him. No wonder we often equates prayer with petition. Yes, problems which occur may draw us closer (as at the same time, problems have the same probabilities to draw us away from God). What I learn is, God do have longing for us to draw closer to Him (far greater than what we can ever imagine really) but truly, He is not manipulating situation to take advantage of it, as our thoughts deceived us. How do I learn it? He has proved it more than 2.000 years ago. If problem is what we need to draw closer to God, Jesus did not have to come to this earth. The reason we are facing problems is firstly, we have a broken relationship with Him. It's not the problem which draw us closer to God. In the beginning, it is our state apart from God which draw problem into our lives. (You may want to read the Genesis to learn this truth).

Now that we have a restored relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, how do we approach God? The essence of prayer is not in the beauty of the words spoken, nor the length of time we spent. It's in connecting our hearts with His. Getting to know Him as He is. More than just having faith in His power, or hoping for His help. How do we draw near to Him, with a full heart, longing only for Him, to reveal Himself to us?

By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him. "I will rise now," I said, "And go about the city; In the streets and in the squares I will seek the one I love." I sought him, but I did not find him. (Song of Solomon 3:1-2-NKJV)

How many times do we come to the Lord in prayer, we long to seek Him and He alone? Forgetting our daily lives matter. Not saying a word of petition. Just come to meet Him. And talk to Him, and listen to Him, to know Him better. To really connect with Him. That's the true communion: intimacy with God. That's what true lovers do. Not coming to gain advantage of another. But simply come to relate, to connect, and to know another better. And that seeking is a passionate seeking. Just like the Shulamite in the verses above. She was seeking with all her heart for her love, till she went about the city, the streets and the squares. How passionate are we when we come to God in prayer? I'm not talking about when we desperately need for help, nor when we are joyful receiving blessings. I'm talking about a passion when we come to Him in prayer to have communion with Him. To really know Him and spend time with Him and grow in love with Him.

I'm still learning. When I think of my own prayer life, I have to admit, I have failed so many times to really come to God in prayer for the sake of knowing Him alone. Thank God, He is so gracious, that He taught me this truth. He reminds me of the longing of His heart for His children. As He promised:

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, (Jeremiah 29:12-14a-NKJV)

The final question now is: Will I come to receive His promise? Will you?

Lord Jesus, thank You for the chance of coming to You in prayer. Please forgive me, for so many times I come with my list of petitions, and problems to solve. I forgot Your heart's desire in the first place is to commune with me. Let me long for You wholeheartedly. Grant me the fire of passion to know You more. Above and beyond my needs. Draw me closer for who You are, not for what I think I need. Jesus, help me to live my life in love with You. Let me pray, first and for all, in deep longing to meet You. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.

FEAR

Lately, had been encounter several incidents which brought me to face...the very thing I tried to avoid...spelled F-E-A-R.

This is not the topic I like to talk about, nor write. But, guess I still have to face this particular matter and jot it down, to remind myself of the most important issue.

What I had experienced is somehow, God arranged for me to receive unexpected blessings, go to a beautiful place of leisure, located in another country, had a great weekend with my bosses and colleagues, and...faced one of my biggest fear...get myself really deep into the water.

Don't get me wrong, I like playing with water. Thought it took me about 5 years just to learn to swim (and my swimming ability is set to so very basic level till today--talked about my physical ability which is far from ideal :P), I do love to go swimming. But having flood for the past several months, which caused me to walk in water (yes, not yet walk on water :P) for 3 hours to reach a safer place has caused my heart somehow sink when it comes to water. Like one friend put it, just like a cat...

Yet, not long after that incident, I got the chance which I never thought I would, never prayed about it, never even dreamed about it. I was going to scuba diving! And I thought, God, You really got a HUGE sense of humour.

And so, slowly pacing myself, I set my heart to finish the basic course of scuba diving. And of course, just like my swimming lesson, I didn't pass the course, though I followed all the activity till the end. (just not finished the whole exercises :( )

Somehow, there are many lessons which I got through that experience. One of it is that fear is somehow can be detached from action, by the grace of God, of course. If people saw me, jumping into the water every time, somehow people would think that I was very courageous. NOT SO. Actually, I was terrifying inside. Particularly, the moment I had to step out from the boat, with all the heavy equipments attached to my body. I was hardly moved though. The instructor words explaining somehow that I wouldn't sink, and I would be helped, certainly didn't cast away my fear. (Yes, that's why it took the instructor to count 1,2, 3 not 3 times, but 5 till 7 times repeatedly just to get me to jump from the boat and it happened every time I had to get into the water-- thank you very much for your patience anyway.) And if you wonder, if I am afraid, why would I do it in the first place??

Well, hard to explain, yet there are certain principles I have in life. One is that I believe that whatever happen, God is orchestrating it to teach me and to mold me. Yet, having such principle did not make me a courageous person. Instead, there's a lot of fear inside me. Somehow, I know that God gonna deals with it. But, I never expect it would be that soon. No, certainly not that soon after the flood. Till it happened. And knowing God, I knew He gave me choices. I could run away, or I could face it. He knew my feelings, He respected it.Yet He loves me more to see me grow, free from unhealthy fear. Learning from my past experience, I have come to 2 conclusions :

1. If you face it now, God will grant you the grace to see you through, though you may not feel it at the moment. It will be given just in time or before that:)

2. If you avoid it now, means you're pending the lesson, which also means, there will be another time for you to take the lesson. In other words, you can run, but you can't skip. Running just prolong the time, not excusing you of particular lesson.

So, whenever I face challenges, I ask myself, want to do it now or later? Later sometimes means greater difficulties. Now sometimes means, the perfect kairos of God.

Thus, I got into the water, and for the first time in my life, despite of all my pain in regards to breathing (even bleeding inside though I didn't realize it till the very last day), I come to know the beauty of underwater world.

But as it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (I Corinthians 2 :9-NKJV)

I mean, I have seen so many films picturing the underwater world. As beautiful as it may be shown, it didn't attract me to go on diving, at all. But having to see it live, swimming across thousands of fishes, with the beautiful colours and different shapes, does bring another awe to my heart.

And I come to the conclusion, the reason God bring me into 'difficult' situation, is not to torture me with fear. NOT AT ALL. He wanted to show me the beauty of His created nature. I have always enjoyed the beautiful scenery of His created nature, but only half of it. Till I dived, I only enjoyed the half part, the upper part of this beautiful earth. Then, I come to see the beauty of another half, the under part.

Two interesting things are, the first time I got myself into the deep water, I couldn't enjoy any of those beautiful views, because I was so busy breathing!!! I had to practice breathing using my mouth, inhale the oxygen from the regulator, exhale out through the regulator, and learn not to use my nose at all. There were several times I was panic when I couldn't breathe properly, or when the salty water get into my nose, and I was about to give up. Many thoughts were running into my mind, and I had to push to really stick to new style of breathing to survive. Then I realized, if it's not because of the grace of God, I wouldn't be there even in the first place, and so I learned to let go my fear and let God pour out His grace to keep me from sinking :P (yes, He equipped me with lots of great instructors:D) The second time I got into the water, I started to enjoy the beautiful view, and I almost forgot breathing, seeing the breathtaking view :P Thank God, I was reminded the most important principle in scuba diving: always remember to breathe, slowly and regularly. Never ever hold your breath. Then, come the third, and so on. I kept on going, despite of my fear and pain and bleeding, eager to see, what else God wanted for me to see. Of course, since now you're reading this blog, I returned safe and sound. :)

Certainly, it's not only the wonder of experiences I want to share here. I write this because, there are still another fears I have to face, and I need to remind myself of the lessons I learned so far, especially about characters of God. This brought me to another verse, which related to the first verse above:

For since the beginning of the world Men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, Nor has the eye seen any God besides You, Who acts for the one who waits for Him. (Isaiah 64:4-NKJV)

The first verse above from I Corinthians is very often quoted, and has become the favourite verse of many people. But the second verse from Isaiah, is actually the first time the wonder of never heard and seen ever recorded in the Word of God. Every true wonder that we can ever experience, which we never seen, never heard, never even entered into our hearts, will revealed the Wonderful God behind it. Yes, we have to come to Him with fear and trembling. Still, many times, we are hindered by another kind of fear. Fear of anything besides God. And as one woman of God put it, you can not fear God completely if you still have another fear in your life.

It doesn't mean that once you fear the Lord, all other feelings of fear will certainly vanish. From what I experience, the fear of the Lord does give you grace, to take the action despite all the fears you have inside. I have to learn to trust God, which is far greater than all of my fears, and fear Him more than anything else. That draw me to key of living no fear: Fear the Lord with all your heart. What a beauty of an irony! Only then, God can really free us from all of our fears, when we draw near to Him and wait for Him to acts on our behalf, carrying us across the deep jungle of our fears and bringing us to the open highland of true freedom. The question left now is : Will I choose to fear Him and trust Him? Or I choose to fear other thing and trust my own feelings?

In the midst of my fear, I look to You. I know You have a plan, which I hardly comprehend right now. I know the truth, and hunger for more, yet it doesn't free me from my fear. What I need right now is Your perfect love, which casts out all my fears, and brings me to one fear only, fear of You alone. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.

In the waiting...

When you're waiting...it's very comforting to know that there is a verse for it, and also song about it, which reminds you of basic truth.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. -Habakkuk 2:3(NKJV)

UNTIL
Dave Clark and Mark Harris

Is it unfair
To say that You are leading
Then try and face this mountain on my own
Why am I scared
I've never stopped believing
And You have never left me all alone
Well I could get ahead of where You've led me to
But I will trust Your heart enough to wait for You

Chorus:

Until this mountain moves
Until the path is clear
Until Your voice is the only one that I can hear
Until I see Your hand
Until I know Your heart
Until I trust the grace that's carried me this far
I will be still until

How could I
Have never seen this coming
It's not like I've been running
From Your will
Tell me why
Each day's another mystery
Waiting for Your truth to be revealed
I try to tell my heart to trust what I believe
And wait on You through all my uncertainty

Repeat Chorus

Be still my heart of worry
Be still my restless soul
Be confident and certain
Be still and know

Repeat Chorus

Lord Jesus, You know the restlessness of my heart. You know my confusion. Still, I have committed to You, I would only go to the place where You lead. Let me not run away from You, just to fulfill the urgency of my heart. Teach my heart...Pour into it, the Perfect Love, which casts out all fear...and grows the first virtue of Love...PATIENCE.

Longing for You

Listen to the aching of my heart, O Lord
For You‘re the only One who know things untold
Day and night my heart is in trouble
Facing the ups and downs of daily battle

My heart is set on You Lord
For I know only You alone
That can fulfill my greatest needs
No matter what the situation indeed

Come to me, Lord, at this moment
Your presence is the best present
No greater love, no greater grace
In my life that I ever face

Beyond my wildest dream, my deepest desire
Your love has put my heart on fire
Carve an unforgettable mark in my life
Forever it will shine so bright

~ 1st April 2005~

In the midst of the longing of my heart...Got reminded how in the past there were times when I missed You, and still...You are faithful, and I live in that assurance...In Your unfailing love, and amazing grace.

More to this life

Do you ever feeling that what you do right now is just a vanity? That no matter how hard you tried, in the end, you’re facing the same old bulk of dissatisfaction and emptiness. Just like the wise man once said: all is vanity and grasping for the wind. (Ecclesiastes 1:14-NKJV)

Many things could happen which drive us to that point: high tide of modern lifestyle (where everybody is racing like horse, out to win in this life, whether it is financial, achievements, or even love life), the hard pressed facts which come and go in this life. At times we try to convince ourselves that it can be solved somehow, and we're out to solve it. Some have given up, some still trying, and some keep on trying not because it works, but because got no other (better) idea to replace it. So, they keep on pushing it, in the hope to achieve 'it' someday. It's like the carrot tied ahead just for us to keep on running without ever a slight chance for us to grab it. Well, sometimes, life does hit us like that.

Some people think the answer is in the wealth. (and so people 'all out' to achieve it). Some thoughts it's in the relationship with someone special. (and so the quest for 'true love' begins). Some thoughts it's in achievements. (and the striving to be the best starts.) It's not that all of those three things above are all wrong. But there is something more to this life. We know it, because somehow, we long for it. And things that we thought are the answer, in the end, are not really the answers at all.

As Christians, sadly, we are not immune to those feelings. Questions come continuously. Unanswered questions like: What am I doing here? Why am I ‘working’ this hard? Where am I going? Why do I feel sad and exhausted and dissatisfied? What is wrong anyway with me? etc. It’s inevitably invading our mind, whether we admit it or not. Though we know that in every man’s heart, there is a hole which no one and nothing can ever fill, except God Himself. Yet, as much as we know about it in our mind (we might as well repeat to ourselves every times we feel the emptiness), it doesn't help a lot to soothe the feelings away. And if this continues on, the big well of depression is waiting on the other side, ready to catch us if we sink deeper and deeper...

In my walk with God, I’m so glad that I’ve been to that point, to the part of pilgrimage called the wilderness. All the people of God have been through it. Included Jesus Himself. Some have passed it successfully to the other part. Some just get in and hardly getting it through and many were died in the wilderness…

Today, I can say I am so grateful that I get into the wilderness with Him. No, don’t think that I’ve done with my pilgrimage with God. As long as I’m still breathing, I‘m still walking, still learning, still growing, and prayerfully, by the grace of God…still persevering. But as much as I learned from Him, through all the storms and blessings, the downs and ups, the pain and joy, the emptiness and fullness of life, this is one of what I’ve found which not only helpful, but also I will treasure for the rest of my life:

The feeling of vanity which we don’t like and trying so hard to avoid, is actually an ‘invitation’. It is an invitation of love, which last not only a lifetime but also for eternity.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. (Ecclesiastes 3:11-NKJV)

Every time you feel vain, it’s a ring of invitation to answer the eternity call which God has put in your heart. Every time you feel restlessness, it’s a longing God has put in your heart to call out for Him. And until you found Him (which what really happened is He found you instead), meeting Him face to face, and commune with Him, that deep desire shall not ever be quenched.

We often misunderstood it, thinking that there’s got to be something we need to do or achieve. Well, good rest and right consumption do help in terms of body fatigue. Refreshment may sometimes needed by the soul. But in this vanity affair, the root of the problem is in the spirit. As one man of God put it, the heart of the matter is the matter of heart.

I believe it’s not a coincidence that in the bible, Song of Solomon is located right after the Ecclesiastes. Both of these books were written by Solomon, the richest and wisest man ever alive. Chronologically, the Ecclesiastes, which talked about the vanity of life, should be placed after Song of Solomon, which pictured a love story. But to our learning, it is put vice versa, for the answer in the Ecclesiastes is found in the Song of Solomon.

As to our heart, God wants it whole. Not in part, not even the greatest part of it. We may look at the cross, and realize how much God love us for it is showed there, the very proof of His love to us. We may remember the empty grave, and awe by the power of His love which conquered the death. But until we walk with Him in the wilderness, we may never step into the deep, behind the veil, the place where we are stripped of those which are temporary and vain, in order for us to receive a better part, something which is last forever.

We may start our journey with God, thinking in our hearts: My beloved is mine, and I am His. (Song of Solomon 2:16-NKJV) But approaching the end, we finally realize: I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine. (Song of Solomon 6:3 -NKJV)

It may seem so subtle for the difference, but when you experience it, you know there is huge difference between the two. In the end, what God really wants and what we really longing for is described beautifully as:

Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? (Song of Solomon 8:5-NKJV)

And if you wonder why it is so hot in the wilderness, it’s just the perfect situation to reflect one of the characteristic of love, as it is written:

Set me as a seal upon your heart,
As a seal upon your arm;
For love is as strong as death,
Jealousy as cruel as the grave;
Its flames are flames of fire,
A most vehement flame.
(Song of Solomon 8:6-NKJV)

Yes, we will go through death and fire for true love. But it’s worth it. All the pain, the tears, shall turn into joy and gladness. The fullness of joy, which we experience in the presence of God, shall never be compared to anything. We may not always experience the great feelings throughout the journey. There were times when He seemed to hide Himself. But if we know, it’s just of the sign of how He loves us, longing for us to search and longing more of Him, we may set in our heart to go all the way for Him, and Him alone.

Lord, thank You for leading me into the wilderness. Thank You for loving me that much for me to experience all that I don’t want in the first place. Thank You for letting me facing all the impossibilities, so I can receive Your faith. Thank You for all the sorrow, so I can trade it with Your joy. Thank You for all the discouragement, so I can experience Your encouragement and extend it to others. Thank You for bringing me to place where I have no strength to carry on, for I learn to draw strength from the abundance of Your grace. Thank You for the chance of being betrayed, so I learn to forgive and to cherish Your faithfulness. Thank You for feelings of hopelessness, so I come to know the true hope I found in You. Thank You for the feeling of emptiness, so I may accept the true fulfillment in You. Thank you for the feelings of vanity, for through it I come to know the meaning of life. For as much as it may seemed lost, nothing is really ever lost, for I gained much more than what I ever dreamed of. Thank You for everything You have taught me all along the journey, but above all, thank You for letting me knowing and loving You.

~ Dedicated to someone who has been spending long hours of working and wondering… I’m no better than you…but this is the grace and revelation which give me strength to carry on so far; one day at a time, one favor to savor. Hope this writing could bless you, as it reminds me again of what I’ve learned lately. Praying for you to meet Him at the level where He wants to meet you. God bless you.~

Short One # 3

Just want to thank God for what happened recently. Tight schedule with tons of workloads, at office and home--quite tiring rally actually, combined with minimum hours of sleep per day :( It's like I'm being stretched to maximum, and being so grateful being able to turn to God everytime I need it. So, one grace at a time, and one favor to savor. At least, now I can exhale...for a while:) -finally finished! Thank You, Lord :)

On the other hand, guess I miss the time of blogging, with God and the bible and the songs...pouring out what I believe spoken into my heart. Praying that somehow, God's grace may also grant to me to continue on writing...

You know exactly what needs to be done...

GRANT

Finally, able to unpack my things after weeks moving back to my own house (being so packed with work lately, and even in this long weekend, packed with another work). In the process of the unpacking, I found some of interesting memorabilia from the past...one of my old poems scribbled in the piece of paper...(well, what can I say, I'm the type of inspirational writer when it comes to poetry, means I only write when the inspiration come :P--and many times I can only find a piece of paper). Can't believe I still keep it, in the most raw form as it is...:D

Guess it's about time to document this poem 'properly', just as a reminder to myself, how simple things, that mark our walk with God, may sometimes seemed 'just gone, swallowed by the time'; but in fact, it's not 'gone' at all. Out of sight or mind maybe, but not out of keep. Coming to such(unexpected) finding brings out the warmth feelings, how faithful God is to us and how He remember everything little thing about us, even those tiny bits we are unaware of...what a wonderful grant :)


GRANT

When it comes to pain
Nobody can really explain
It's like being caught in vain
Nothing we can offer to bargain

We wish for a rainbow after the rain
All we want after a loss is a gain
But it doesn't go with the main
And we're back in the first place again

Then the act of grace begin
Holy Saviour for the sinners slain
His blood washes all our stain
Against His love nothing can stand

Now it's the start of the grand
Everything turns so plain
Miracle isn't just for the saint
But also for the people of grain

~ 3rd March 2000~

Seven years have passed...and it's so true of this simple truth : For your love is better than wine. (Song of Solomon 1:2-NKJV)

No One

Can't help not to post this video--not because of Michael W.Smith(appearing in the beginning) and Mr. & Mrs. George W.Bush(appearing in the end):P But because these songs Cece Winans sing are profoundly reverberating into my heart. Been listening to them over and over again this whole week and the reflection that I got is that this medley are explaining some deep revelation about relationship.

I Surrender All-one of my most favourite hymns- explaining the kind of relationship characteristic we have with God. Of all kinds of relationship we have with God (you name it: Father-Sons, Master-Bond servants, Teacher-Disciples, Bridegroom-Bride, Husband-Wife, etc.), this is the most critical attitude of heart we ought to have. Surrendering all to God. In good times and bad times. In easy endeavors and tough endeavors. When sun shines brightly and when rain falls hard, even until the flood comes unexpectedly :P That's the kind of attitude we ought to have, besides great gratitude and humility, of course. One of our human tendency is trying to control everything, even things we have no authority to control. The reasons behind are fear of the unknowns, inconveniences, and hardships. We prefer avoiding all the bad ones at all cost. We strive to more comforting and pleasant lifestyle. Not that it's entirely wrong. But when that is what we aim for, sadly, it is the very thing that will overrule our lives and in the end, left us dissatisfied. I am still learning this lesson, but up to this point, I have learned that true contentment sprung out only from our true relationship with God. Intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. And there can not be any intimacy without thorough surrender. Like any other close and loving relationship we have, the key to intimacy is trust. And the evidence of trust in relationship, particularly with God, is complete surrender. Whoa! If this sounds too hard to 'chew' for you, try to open your heart. Because this matter is not something we can digest using our mind, but more to that, it can only be understood by an open, lowly, and willing heart.

When we slowly learn to surrender to God (it's a process, not an immediate events by the way), then we will experience the truth in the second songs- No One, a great worship song by Cece Winans.The first time we get to know God, we proclaim that we surrender to Him. Then the process of surrendering life to God begin, bit by bit, layer by layer, and if you continue on this pilgrimage with God, there would come a time when you look back and see how in every situation, at all times, how God lovingly sustains you through--even when you go astray. The power of love of God, in all its rich aspects, which blow your heart and soul away, will capturing your heart that you may whisper, please let me always be with You. And you want to shout and tell the whole world, how wonderful and beautiful this Lover of your soul is. I don't know which is the point of your journey with God at this moment. You may have just started, or you have been walking faithfully for quite a long time. You may have backslide, or even you haven't started a real relationship with God. No matter where you are right now, it is not important. What important is you let go and let God start to showering you and covering you with HIS amazing love, now. Turn to Him, just as you are, and let His love changes you from within and makes you a new creation. And you will be able to look into His face and stare into His loving eyes and swept away into the caring yet mighty embrace of the nail-scarred hands. Sounds too much? Well, I'm just offering His invitation which I have taken (and by the grace of God, I choose to keep on taking it):

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!-Psalm 34:8 (NKJV)

Yes, come and taste...and you shall say that it was more than words I could describe, or lyrics Cece Winans could sing :D

I SURRENDER ALL & NO ONE - Cece Winans

All to Jesus, I surrender,
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence, daily live.

Chorus:

I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessed Saviour,
I surrender all

---

I whisper words about You endlessly
Mostly to myself 'cause You make me believe
No one could ever love me like You could
There wouldn't be a day I'd be alone
And never would there be a time I didn't know
'Cause no one could ever love me like You could

You have been the One who fulfills my dreams
I'll never let You go
If You stay with me
I promise You would know

Of all the times I've reached out for You
Oh, can't you see how I adore You
I couldn't spend my life without You
Please believe me I will never doubt You

You've been the One to answer all my prayers
Anytime I need You I know that You'll be there
'Cause no one could ever love me like You could
I'm hoping that You'll hear these prayers of mine
I'm hoping that we'll be together for all times
'Cause no one could ever love me like you could

You have been the One who fulfills my dreams
I'll never let You go
If You stay with me
I promise You would know

Of all the times I've reached out for You
Oh, can't You see how I adore You
I couldn't spend my life without You
Please believe me I will never doubt You

Oh I would do anything for You to share that place in my heart
Please let me be the one
It would mean everything
There'll be no one to keep us apart

Of all the times I've reached out for You
Oh, can't you see how I adore You
I couldn't spend my life without You
Please believe me I will never doubt You

(Lyrics taken from http://www.hymnlyrics.org/lyricsi/i_surrender_all.html & http://www.allthelyrics.com/song/45078/)

The Restorer of Life

And may He be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him." Ruth 4:15 (NKJV)

In my previous post, I mentioned a bit about experiencing God as our Master.This time, I want to share about experiencing God as our Restorer of Life. This particular trait of God is showned throughout the bible, in people's life. Specifically, I would like to learn from the book of Ruth. So, if you want to know the whole story, please read the whole book of Ruth (Ruth 1-4).

The story started in the time of the Judges, when there was a famine in the land of Judah. This is the situation of Elimelech's family faced. I know most of us can relate with the situation they're facing. It's a famine, it's a regional crisis. So, Elimelekh made a decision to answer the problem his family faced. They chose to go to the land of Moab and stay there.

It is very interesting to see this family situation reflected in their names. Hebrews, like most Asians, have meanings in their names. Elimelech means "my God is king", while Naomi means "my delight". If you have a pair with such meaning, I believe that most people would agree that the children of this pair would have wonderful meanings. But strangely, the meaning of their children's names are another extreme contradiction. Both of their children have horrible meanings. Mahlon means "sick", while Chilion means "pining". Guess this two children were born in tough times of the family. Mahlon declared the pain this family faced and Chilion stated the torment of grief or having the intense longing.

Now, from the story, we all know that after the family moved to Moab, their children took Moabites women as their wives, named Orpah and Ruth. Turned out, in ten years Naomi lost her husband and both her sons. So, left with nothing, she prepared to go home without anybody. But in the midst of her troubles, she still found the faithful friendship of her daughter in law, Ruth.(by the way, Ruth means "friendship") The reason of her decision was that she heard that the Lord had visited His people by giving them bread.

From a short true story above, I find out how the story of Naomi's family was so easily speak into our lives. If you ever facing a crisis in your life, I believe you know what I mean. And life has its own way to bring crisis after crisis into our lives and sometimes, left us behind with nothing, just like what happened to Naomi. Please remember that this is in the old days, where a woman were greatly depended on the men in their lives for their daily needs to be fulfilled. In those days, a young widow like Orpah or Ruth, would be expected to remarried to continue their lives. While for older widow like Naomi, usually other family members would have to take care of her.

In short, I would like to say that the situation which Naomi faced was turning from bad to worse, and in a longer period-despite the action taken to cope with the problem, the worse situation turned into worst situation. In foreigner's land, without husband and sons, in the old age. Talk about helplessness. Talk about hopelessness. This is a situation nobody desired. Naomi is a true witness to that. She even said that she would be called Mara (which means "bitterness").

I don't know what have happened in your lives, but I believe, if you're still living in this planet earth, then you are not misery free. Many times, when we're faced with problems in our lives, we tried our best to solve them. Then we found out that our best efforts means nothing since we seemed to fight the inevitable. The more we try, the deeper into problem we sink. Eventually, our hearts cried out, "Where art thou, Lord?" Some of us find it's so hard to believe that God is good in such circumstances. Some believe that even though God may be good or powerful, He just doesn't care enough. Others believe that probably, with so many people out there praying to God, God may be too busy to even listen to our own prayers. To the extreme, there are people who just believe that God is not exist. That's it.
What can you expect in such situation?

Reading the life of Naomi, I am so glad that the outcomes of her life is not "Mara", but even better "Naomi". I learned that even in the midst of her difficult situations, God is still working all things for good (Romans 8:28). One thing that really touch my heart is the faith which Ruth had. She confessed,"...your God, my God." (Ruth 1:16) Even in the midst of distress, Naomi's life bring a true testimony about God of Israel to Ruth. I know this is something difficult for us to comprehend. Many of us would dare to speak about God when He blessed us. Many of us feeling inadequate to witness about Him when we felt that our lives are not so 'blessed' at all (especially after we compared ourselves with others who may seemed more 'blessed' by God). Furthermore, we are ashamed to witness about Him when we found ourselves in the midst of unfortunate events. But through the life of Naomi, little that she knew at that time, even though her phase of life up to that point seemed nothing but bitterness, Ruth came to know the God of Israel. Ruth was willing to leave her own family, land, and nation to come into a covenant with God of Israel. Later in her life, we all know the happy ending she found in the land of Israel. Not only later she married the wealthy Boaz, which is a relative of Naomi's husband, but also, she was chosen to be the great great grandmother of David, of Jesus Christ, Our Saviour. And of course, Naomi also shared this great blessings.

In conclusion, what I learned from this four meaningful passages are:

1. No matter how bad our situation is, always have faith in God who is always faithful to us. We might not know His intention. We might unable to see His hands. But we can always assured that He has a plan, wonderful plan for us, not problems. One thing I constantly remind myself is the truth that God is not only good all the time, but He is incapable of doing something bad.
2. You may found yourselves like Naomi, feeling inadequate to testify about God, due to your circumstances. But know this, He is still TRUE GOD even when we face lots of calamities. Keeping a right attitude of gratefulness might help a lot, because you never know what may come out from those calamities, and there may be a lot of 'Ruth's around you who will come to know your God in the midst of your troubles.
3. You could be one of those 'Ruth's. You can't understand why a good God may allow misfortune in this earth. But when you keep your faith, because God is (true) God, no matter what life may bring. Believing that He is the TRUE GOD, who is worthy of your praise and worship. Then, you will see Him as the Restorer of Life, beyond all that you could ever think or ask for.
4. Of all that bad-to-worst situations that may happen in our lives, it is to show us this particular trait of GOD, the Restorer of our lives. The question to ask is not whether He can or not; not whether He wants to or not; the most important question to ask is whether we would allow Him to be the Restorer of our lives or not. You see, you may not know what the future may bring or when it will happen, but when you trust God as your Restorer of life, no matter how bad the situation is, you can be assured that He will somehow, create a miracle out of impossibilities. Naomi had been there, Ruth had been there. How about you?

The best "NO" answer

Usually, we would love the YES answer. But in this case, so glad that Mercy say NO.:D



MERCY SAY NO - Cece Winans

I was just a child, when I felt the Savior leading
I was drawn to what I could not understand
And for the cause of Christ, I have spent my days believing
That what He'd have me be, is who I am
As I've come to see the weaker side of me
I realize His grace is what I'll need
When sin demanded justice for my soul

Chorus:

Mercy said no
I'm not gonna to let you go
I'm not gonna to let you slip away
You don't have to be afraid
Mercy said no
Sin will never take control
Life and death stood face to face
Darkness tried to steal my heart away
Thank You Jesus, Mercy said no

For God so loved the world, that He sent His son to save us
From the cross He built a bridge to set us free
Oh, but deep within our hearts, there is still a war that rages
And makes a sacrifice so hard to see
As midnight fell upon the crucifixion day
The light of hope seemed oh so far away
As evil tried to stop redemption's flow

Repeat Chorus

Bridge

And now when heaven looks at me
It's through the blood of Jesus
Reminding me of one day long ago

Repeat Chorus

(Lyrics taken from http://www.allthelyrics.com/song/201197/)

Thank You, Jesus. Thank You for never letting me go. Love You so much. Amen.

Happy Passover Week!

This week has been an unforgotten week for human history, about two thousand years ago. Reading again the passages, remembering each scene which have took place for the Lamb of God to surrender His blameless life for you...and me.

As I reflect on God's love for humankind, I can't help it to see God's love in my own personal life. How His eyes has never taken off from me (and you as well--my God has a GREAT vision :D) and how still we as a human often forgot His loving kindness and faithfulness.

I believe it is not a coincidence that during this unforgettable week, I got an unforgettable lesson on becoming a true witness of God (again!!). If you're following my posts, well, you know what has happened in my recent walk with God. (If you haven't know, you can read it here: http://violadeo.blogspot.com/2007/03/always-be-ready.html)

Apparently, yesterday morning I had another interview, this time by phone, because my interviewer is located in another country. (not far from here though... :P) And i thought it would be just a job interview. It turns out that it was, but not only that. To my surprise (again!!), I was asked the address of this blog. "Oh my God," I thought," I've just posted the story about the interview, not to mention other personal stories as well." But I could sense in that critical moment that somehow, God hasn't finished with the previous event. So, I gave the address in faith, well, of course I really didn't have much choice after all:P

I wish I could tell you that afterwards everything turns out to be great. Unfortunately, NO(not in the beginning though...). What happened afterwards is, I could feel that I really, I mean, I got mixtures of uneasy feelings. You know, the kind of feelings you got when you have to go on stage and sing while you have limited memory about the lyrics or even worse, you got that voice that could kill people (literally!) when they listen to you. My heart was beating speedily, and of course, I turned to God in prayer. 'Why, Lord?' Strangely, this verse came up to my mind as an answer:

"Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."- Hebrew 11:16 (NKJV)

This verse directly pierced into my worrying heart.
'Are you ashamed to confess that I am your God?'
"Well, of course not. But I didn't know the interviewer's belief backgrounds. And I don't know what she would think about my posts. Oh, God, please help me. Don't let me bring shame to Your name. Holy Spirit, please touch the hearts of the readers, whoever they are, whatever their beliefs, so that Your name maybe glorified and they may get the blessings." I prayed, over and over again. Not only that, I asked some close friends of mine to pray for this particular matters.

So, there went my whole Wednesday. Just because I'm aware that this is a Passover week doesn't necessarily mean that I become that 'giant of faith' person. As a matter of fact, I could see my own faithlessness, even in the midst of God's faithfulness (Passover is the evidence of God's faithfulness). I think God is right,my lesson on this witnessing subject still not finished yet.

This morning when I wake up, I'm really grateful that after not-so-peaceful night before, God somehow grants me His peace. Peace beyond all understanding. I thank God that He knew my struggle, and He helped me to cope with that. I'm also give thanks to Him, though I don't know what the result may be, I know He is faithful. I learn to put my trust in His faithfulness and not on the situation, no matter how bad it may seem to my physical eyes.

Turns out...God answered me, unexpectedly, in His faithfulness. My friend who happened to read my blog yesterday wrote that she really got blessed by my posts. And also, my interviewer as well :D (it's interesting to note that they have similar names:P)

So, lesson of the week, let God shows you His faithfulness, even when you feel that you're not that faithful at all to Him. For it is written:

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself."- 2 Tim 2:13

May you have a blessed Passover week!

God Is In Control

A nice reminder from a very powerful song by one of my fave artists, Twila Paris. My favourite part is in the bridges: very good thoughts to ponder especially when you are worry!




God Is In Control-Twila Paris

This is no time for fear
This is the time for faith and determination
Don't lose the vision here
Carried away by the motion
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together

Chorus:

God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him
We know, ohh, God is in control
Ohh, God is in control

History marches on
There is a bottom line drawn across the ages
Culture can make its plan
Oh but the line never changes
No matter how the deception may fly
There is one thing that has always been true
It will be true forever

Repeat chorus

Bridge:
He has never let you down
Why start to worry now
Why start to worry now
He is still the Lord of all we see
And He is still the loving Father
Watching over you and me

Repeat chorus

(Lyrics taken from http://www.walkthroughlife.com/midis/christian/godisincntrl.htm)

Always be ready

I'm always amazed when I experience the Word of God in my daily life. I think in orchestrating the step of our lives, God, the Ultimate Creator, are truly truly ...creative? amazing? wonderful? :P (all those words can't really captured what's in my heart-- I'm running out of words this time.)

It happened two days ago, in the midst of my interview for a new job, suddenly I was asked about my writing experience. My past professional experiences did give me some exposure in report writing, but apparently what the interviewer asked was something different. So, in response to that, I mentioned my hobby of writing of stuffs which --i thought unfortunately at that moment--has nothing to do with the job I'm applying for. I said it is 'spiritual' material, not business material. To my surprise, the interviewer asked me to explain my most recent article. Suddenly I was afraid, worried, I mean, there I was, in the midst of job interview for a position which is purely business, and I was asked about my writing in spiritual thing! And I don't know the interviewers--means I have no idea what their personal beliefs background are. Finally, I gathered my courage to tell the truth (which was what I got during my meditation last time:P). I explained as an opening that I am a Christian and my recent article is about my meditation of the Word of God.

And if you're wondering about my 'presentation', yes, I did explain the whole Hebrew words, the meaning and the effect of having God as our Master in life, referring to Psalm 90 :1 (If you haven't read my previous blog, you can read it here: http://violadeo.blogspot.com/2007/03/dwelling-place.html)
In short, it was a verbal version of the summary of my previous blog.

My emotion was changing from being afraid and worried, into feeling strange and awkward, but eventually, I could really 'flow' and I felt that God Himself was there with me in that meeting room.

Praise to God, I passed that level of interview, but of course, there are another test I have to face. But still, on my way home, even until today, my heart is filled with joy. I always know that as a Christian, becoming a true witness of God is something innate in our spiritual man. But I never thought that when I prayed to God, asking for guidance and grace of God for the interview, I would be given such honor. I mean, I did say that God, help me to be your true witness today, in my speech and deeds, for Your glory. God reminded me later that what had happened was an answered prayer. I was given a chance to explain the Word of God before 2 foreigners. It's not my initiative at all, God just planned it out, to answer my prayer, beyond my expectation. God also really have a HUGE sense of humour :D What I mean is, what I wrote is about our relationship with God as Our Master, and God gave me the chance to explain it to my future-can-be boss (read : master)?

He is truly Our Master, and I am witness to that, ready or not :D

God, thank You for the chance of introducing You to others. I know it is a grace given to me. Not that I'm worthy, but because You're willing. I pray that the seed of God's Word may grow and produce its fruits in due seasons. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.