Introducing the new topic

First post of the year...on second month of the year...

First of all, happy to share that despite my busyness with moving preparation, taking care of little one, cooking, and household chores, I finally made it to bring Smileybaby to outside activities. Last week we went to our very first MOPS. Smileybaby is so happy (even though she is a happy baby, but I am just happy to see her laughter seeing so many toddlers running around and play; I can tell she was excited:D).

Yesterday we managed (though a bit late) to attend welcome class of the bible study fellowship. I am hoping we can get a place with mothers with infants group. But knowing so many people interested, with limited place, I had surrender to God in prayer. I asked that if God thinks I can really pull it through (by faith, with God's given strength) then let it be that I found a place there. But if not, then I know it means my energy will be needed elsewhere :D

And I can figure out that the energy will goes to...Smileybaby of course.

I have been pondering of homeschooling her. And glad that I am progressing in that direction.

I know I know. It's a scary jump of faith. On one hand, it's my precious daughter life (already I had serious opponents). On the other hand, this mother whose English is not even her native language, having energy level challenge, and yet still, want to do this thing in a foreign country where homeschooling is uncommon.

So I do my reading and research on this thing called homeschooling. I love the process. (I always love researching, esp issues that grab my attention.)

I read somewhere that homeschooler need to figure out why they homeschool. And I can come up with myriad reasons...but I think I need to figure out several that speaks to my heart mostly. And I feel in my journey, to blog it openly will help. Not only as a reflection to what I am doing with my little girl, but also a blessing for those who perhaps like me, thinking hard (and praying hard) yet unsure whether this is the direction to go.

For now, just pray I have that extra energy to do the writing part to share :)

Last post

for this year!

First of all, I would like to say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Second, I would like to use this last post to express gratitude to my Lord...for this year has bring a lot of blessings in my life. As I look back this year, 2012 will be the year that stands out, due to:

1. Smileybaby :)
My firstborn, my beloved daughter. I never thought that despite my health condition, God still choose to give the miracle of birth to me. I remember the first time I was in the midst of my health struggle thinking of what I would like to have when I recover (if is the word used back then). I haven't fully recovered, but God choose to entrusted this little girl into my loving care. I am so grateful.

2. My hubby
I am grateful for our marriage. We've been through sickness and pain, joy and happiness as well. I realize being his wife is one of wonderful blessings in my life. Blessing that I've never expected. Glad that God lead our journey to be together.

3. Hope for new home
We got our key! We will be moving to our new place next year. After moving here and there, it's such a big relief we finally got the place of our own. I pray that this gift of shelter could a home of peace for all who enter in and out.

4. Improved Energy level
I am extremely grateful for this one. Though I have not fully recovered yet, the pregnancy and breastfeeding hormones somehow helps to improve my energy level. I think the only time it gotten worse is only during the third trimester and of course, after delivery. But apart from that, I am coping with this new motherhood. Which I have no idea but faith to do in the beginning. God is faithful. All our concerns and worries (whether I can be strong enough to take care of my baby) is being addressed by God. My energy level improved, so I can take care of my little one. She is growing well and healthy. Of course, my daily activities are not perfectly done, but I am glad the essentials are done. Remember my last idea about prioritizing my activities due to the limited energy level? Well, it serves me really well with motherhood. I will be sharing this point sometime in the future, again, when my energy level permits:)

5. Supply of milk
Glad that God still supply milk through me for my baby. I pray that I can continue breastfeeding till the time is up :) In the beginning the breastfeeding process is really tough. Pain, bleeding, you name it. But after hanging on for sometime, eventually my body get used to it. And that really brings change, especially now I can enjoy  Smileybaby even more. She loves to smile, every morning before drinking, and at the end of the feeds. Such a great motivation for mommy.

Well that's the short list for this year. What are your list of thanksgiving for this year?

Lord, thank You for this year, for Your presence, for Your blessings. In Jesus' name. Amen.:)

Thanksgiving Thursday: Unexpected Christmas Present

This is a thanksgiving post which has been delayed for sometime. Anyway, I still want to share this surprise news to everybody.

It's been my dream to publish book, but ever since I started on my writing journey, I realized I have a lot to learn before doing that. However, several months ago our church launched a project of poems and pictures book. As a part of mercy ministry, the book is to encourage people in their walk of faith as they facing struggles in life.

At first, I was hesitated to send my poems. First of all, as you all who read this blog know, it had been a long time since I write a new poem. So yeah, I only have my old 5 poems (which fortunate enough to be recorded here in the blog, otherwise I don't have poems at all). So I don't know whether a pre-published poems (even though only in my personal blog) can be selected. Second, of course, English is not my native language. So in a way, the poems are more of the expression of lessons I learnt and emotions I shed instead of the correct grammatical presentations. But after some moments of hesitation, I decided to sent all of them anyway, thinking that who knows out of 5 perhaps one or two can make the cut. And even if all of them don't make it, at least I tried :)

Then come the good news, all of my 5 poems are admitted :) God is gracious. I have been wanting to share this good news with you, but I think once I got the book it will be more fun:D The church decided to launch the book on Christmas day, as a Christmas present to all. Sadly, on that day I was not feeling well, so I haven't even got my copy until now! (I hope this Sunday I can get it :D). But thanks to my dear friend (www.christinetjia.com), I got the pic of the cover even before I get a hold on the book itself.

The book is now sold at the price just to cover the production cost, for the main purpose of the book is to bless people. The book consists of collection of wonderful pictures and inspiring poems, contributed by some of the member of the church.

I am grateful to God that He gave me the opportunity to be involved in this wordsmith ministry. He gave me an unexpected Christmas present. Ever since I fall sick, I realized my dream of writing might be as well tucked away. I have struggle only with basic living activities, and writing certainly drains a lot of energy. But He is gracious. He opened opportunities for me that I never experienced before, and I do not even plan or search for it. He surely make my motto of writing comes true for me. And I hope, it comes true for you in this holiday season.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year :)

Thank You Lord for this unexpected gift...which remind me of your greatest gift, which come unexpectedly. Thank You for everything:)

P.S.: If you also have wonderful thanksgiving experience, why don't you drop by http://thanksgiving-thursday.blogspot.com to post your story. Or just to drop by to read other thanksgiving stories this season. Soli Deo Gloria!

Thanksgiving Thursday: Things You Never Gave Me

I've been wanting to join the blogging chain of Thanksgiving posting every Thursday held by http://hanshinta1.blogspot.com/. But yeah, never got a chance (energy more precisely) to do it. But today, despite my weakness, as I read her blog, I got reminded of the long time post (in my mind) which I've been waiting to write. (well, it still postponed another week, I just need the extra strength to finish this post:P)

So many times we give thanks to God for the things He gave us. Yes, I am grateful for everything He has given to me. But we often forget to thank Him for the things He never gave us. There are many incidents, when I looked back, I am grateful that He never gave me the things I wanted or desired at that time. It's been a tough journey, and all I can say when disappointment and sadness happen is only the word : "Why?" However, knowing Him and learning His lessons all these times has taught me that nothing happened without His knowing or purpose. And for every big calamities He allows to cross my path of life, He has good purposes in His mind. It might not be of my personal interest though, but it certainly for good. And just some time ago I found a beautiful song by David Meece which lyrics speak exactly what I have (over and over again) in my heart. (I attached this beautiful song for you at the end of this post).

So yeah, I would like to remind myself things He never gave me (since it's quite long, I would like to mention couple things which I am reminded over and over again to be grateful:D).

Lord, thank You for not let me born in a Christian family.

I used to envy those who do, thinking that they have a smoother sailing Christian life.

Not to mention the privilege to know you early.

No struggle just to go to worship service every week, to be involved in ministry

Nor the decision to be baptized

But now looking back, I am so grateful that you put me in my family

Though I am not born into a Christian family

I still got a chance to attend children church

And all those years when I struggle in my faith

All those tears of heart ache and discouragement

Can only be sweet milestones to show who You are

I thank You for this thing You never gave me

Yet You are not giving up on me

I can't imagine my faith journey without this very thing You never gave me

Lord, thank You for not giving me the scholarship for graduate studies

It's been a desire for me too continue my study last time

After all the long process of exams and applications

I ended up with an offer but without the scholarship

I had to make tough decision

Should I take the offer and apply for study loan

Or should I let go the offer and start all over again

I looked into Your word and consult Your wisdom

Despite the heartache of long process I bear

Despite good supports from my friends who's willing to sponsor me

Despite my long time desire to learn

I said no and move on, because Your word say so

Today I am so grateful that I didn't take the loan route

Everyday I give thanks to You that Your word protected me

And up until today, I have learnt so many things I wanted to learn before

Had I taken the post grad study, I might not learn what I've learnt today

I can't imagine my learning path without this very thing You never gave me

I still have my lists of things He never gave me...some are major, some are minor. All are the things I am so grateful for. Hopefully one day I can share again on this Thanksgiving post. But for now (two is enough and way too long already I think), let's sing and give thanks to Him for the things He never gave us:D

P.S: Kindly visit other bloggers who published their Thanksgiving Thursday posts here:

http://hanshinta1.blogspot.com/2011/10/thanksgiving-thursday-list-week-6-27.html#disqus_thread