Last post

for this year!

First of all, I would like to say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Second, I would like to use this last post to express gratitude to my Lord...for this year has bring a lot of blessings in my life. As I look back this year, 2012 will be the year that stands out, due to:

1. Smileybaby :)
My firstborn, my beloved daughter. I never thought that despite my health condition, God still choose to give the miracle of birth to me. I remember the first time I was in the midst of my health struggle thinking of what I would like to have when I recover (if is the word used back then). I haven't fully recovered, but God choose to entrusted this little girl into my loving care. I am so grateful.

2. My hubby
I am grateful for our marriage. We've been through sickness and pain, joy and happiness as well. I realize being his wife is one of wonderful blessings in my life. Blessing that I've never expected. Glad that God lead our journey to be together.

3. Hope for new home
We got our key! We will be moving to our new place next year. After moving here and there, it's such a big relief we finally got the place of our own. I pray that this gift of shelter could a home of peace for all who enter in and out.

4. Improved Energy level
I am extremely grateful for this one. Though I have not fully recovered yet, the pregnancy and breastfeeding hormones somehow helps to improve my energy level. I think the only time it gotten worse is only during the third trimester and of course, after delivery. But apart from that, I am coping with this new motherhood. Which I have no idea but faith to do in the beginning. God is faithful. All our concerns and worries (whether I can be strong enough to take care of my baby) is being addressed by God. My energy level improved, so I can take care of my little one. She is growing well and healthy. Of course, my daily activities are not perfectly done, but I am glad the essentials are done. Remember my last idea about prioritizing my activities due to the limited energy level? Well, it serves me really well with motherhood. I will be sharing this point sometime in the future, again, when my energy level permits:)

5. Supply of milk
Glad that God still supply milk through me for my baby. I pray that I can continue breastfeeding till the time is up :) In the beginning the breastfeeding process is really tough. Pain, bleeding, you name it. But after hanging on for sometime, eventually my body get used to it. And that really brings change, especially now I can enjoy  Smileybaby even more. She loves to smile, every morning before drinking, and at the end of the feeds. Such a great motivation for mommy.

Well that's the short list for this year. What are your list of thanksgiving for this year?

Lord, thank You for this year, for Your presence, for Your blessings. In Jesus' name. Amen.:)

Sun ray on my wall

I wake up this morning (as usual, on wee hours) and was given grace by God to do something I've been wanting to do. Even though it's a step of faith, and I prayed that God would help me from making mistake, I feel it's a wonderful baby step I take. However, today I noticed something which I never been aware before.

As I finished my typing, and when I look up, suddenly I caught a burning sign on my wall. Apparently it's one ray of sun, somehow it appeared for a moment (and I could grab my cell phone to capture it). Just a moment after I took the picture, it's gone. Now my whole room is full of morning sun light, defeating the lamp light with its sunny yellow tone.

Somehow this small gesture of nature sign was a good reminder for me. There were so many times when I feel like facing the wall (thick, high, and impenetrable), especially with my weaknesses now. But witnessing the way God creates the morning has really make my day. He can shine a piece of sun ray on my wall, and even though it's just for a moment, it's a sign of greater light to come.

I hope I always remember the sun ray on my wall...so that my focus is not on the wall (no matter how thick or high or impenetrable it is), but on the sun ray, for it's a sign of greater light to come.

Thank you Lord Jesus...what a beautiful reminder of Your ever present help in time of needs. Help me to remember the sun ray on my wall, is a sign of Your greater light to come. Amen.

Woohoo

Got the reply from the doc's office. They're OK. The appointment still going.

THANK YOU LORD:)

Lord, thank You so much for protecting them. I know Your hands are at work. Thank You once again. In Jesus' name. Amen :)

One that count

And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.' - Matthew 25:40 (NKJV)

The verse above is part of Jesus' teachings about end times. We are familiar with the passage where Jesus will come as King, dividing the sheep from the goats.

We are told that sheep do these very thing: give food to those who hungry, drink to those who thirsty, hospitality to stranger, cloth to the naked, care for the sick, visitation to the prisoner. And the goats are those who did not do them.

However, as the King positioned himself as one of the least of the brethren, I realized that here, Lord Jesus pointed to only one, one that count.

You see, we live in the world of 'quantity worship'. Of course, to our human minds, the more the better. Our applause and admiration goes to those who can give a lot to a lot of people.

Strangely, Lord Jesus did not say so. Then, does this means that it is OK for us to do it once? (clean my hands, I finished my obligation already :P)

Much to my surprise, the sheep and the goats have no idea when they have or have not done the deed. So, what really counts is the thing they did when they did not realize it.

Which bring me to this conclusion, what have I done to one person lately, which flowing out of love of God in my heart and not for other motivation?

One is nothing in the eyes of human, but it is counted before the Lord... so significant that at the end times, Our Lord recount it, one by one. Not by bulky quantities, there is no race here for those who outdone the others in terms of quantity.

What counts is the one who is in need, is indeed Our King :)

Lord, please forgive me for the mindset of the world. Too many times, I judged things based on quantity involved. Teach me a humble heart to see, that even one is significant before You. Open my eyes and touch my heart so that I can do what You called me to do, even only for one. In Jesus' name. Amen.

HAPPY NEW YEAR :D

May you be blessed by God through and through this upcoming year :)

The last which is first

This will be my last post in 2009 :) Looking back, I realized I did not post many in 2009, but I do pray, as God's grace directed me, I will be able to do better in 2010 ;-)

This morning, as I wake up, I started to worship Him, I prayed: confessing my sins, expressing my gratefulness, and pleading that HE will speak to me, the last message this year that will become the first thing for next year.

I was brought to John 15:1-27.

Due to various changes in my life in 2009, i have entangled myself in the snare of anxiety and restlessness. But the hands of GOD is gracious towards me. His wonderful love once again bring me on my knees, and I confessed how wonderful the working of HIS grace and love in my life. I am grateful for all the things He brings to past in 2009. The worst things, He saw me through. The best things, He blessed me with.

Now, at the end of this year, the loving message I got is to ABIDE in Him.

I was wondering, how am I able to ABIDE in Him?

1. Verse 7 told us that we can let HIS words abide in us. When this things happened, we can ask what we desire and it shall be done for us. All is for the glory of the Father, when we bear much fruit. When we do, we are His disciples.

2. The next thing is to ABIDE in HIS love. How to ABIDE in HIS love? I learn something new today. All this time I thought, to abide in HIS love is to obey His commandments. It's true, but it's not yet complete. Verse 12 showed what is His commandments: that we love one another as He has loved us. Now, given the context of this conversation, it was during the last supper, the last time Jesus spent time together with His disciples. There He was giving His wonderful commandments. Verse 9 stated it beautifully: As the Father loved me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. Continued with verse 12, we abide in His love when we love one another as He has loved us. Something dawned on me suddenly. Jesus was talking to His disciples, minus Judas Iscariot. Quickly I searched the passages before. There I found the opening of these messages. In John 13:34-35 Jesus mentioned about this new commandments to His disciples. For them to loved one another as He has loved them and by that all will know that they are His disciples. Further He explained His love for them in verse 13: Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

Looking back in history, we learned that all of the disciples presented in the last supper were laying down their lives for the cause of the gospel. But it dawned on me that they obeyed the commandment of Jesus, and thus showed that they are true disciples of Jesus. They laid down their lives for others, as Jesus has laid down His lives for them.

Thus the implication of joy mentioned in verse 11 becomes clear. His joy remain in them and their joy become full because now, instead of only Jesus the one who loves them to that degree, they love one another to that degree as well. And Jesus continued to compared to the hatred from the world. In other words, you will face hatred from the world, but you have been loved by God and will be loved by other disciples, to the degree of laying one's life.

This whole conversation is JUST before the crucifixion. There, Jesus showed His love to His disciples, by laying down His life for them, even though they are all running away from Him, out of fear. Later in their lives, after the resurrection and the Pentecost, they laid down theirs, no longer having fear, but having love. For they have come to understand His perfect love for them. Perfect love which casts out fear.

So, given those two wonderful lessons, this is my prayer for upcoming year of 2010:

Father God, thank You for showing Your love through Lord Jesus. Lord Jesus, in this upcoming year, help me to abide in YOU. Abide in Your Words and in Your love. Holy Spirit, empower me to love other disciples the way the Lord wants us to. In Jesus loving name and power I pray, amen.

How am I able to say thanks?

Dear Lord,

Thank You, for all You've done in my life. Please forgive me of my sin. When I am just running away, and simply drop everything because I am just no longer have the strength...You sent Your rescues, prayer, love, care, in a way that capture my heart and restore my mind.

Forgive me, Lord, for my unbelieving heart.

I love You...help me to love You more, the way You do.

In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Whose kairos?

Therefore Jesus told them, "The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right. - John 7:6 (NIV)

As I read and meditate on the verse above (as the whole passage of the beginning of chapter 7), I realize how different the way God and human views time.

The passage begins from the disagreement between Jesus and His own brothers regarding Jesus' plan to stay in Galilea. His brothers viewed that Jesus, who has performed miracles, ought to show Himself to the world (in that moments, meaning go to Judea during the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles).

Jesus reply to them is that is not the right time for Him yet and for His brothers, any time is right.

The first thing I noticed is that Jesus did not reply to them that He was not meant to go there. Nor did He say that it is not the right place to go. His response is merely the timing. Later on, He did go to the Feast, slightly later from His brothers timing, and in a secret manner.

It is critical to note that original Greek word for time that Jesus used to describe His own time and His brothers' time is the same : kairos, which means the right time, the opportune time.

It is interesting for me since I was always taught that biblically, there are two different time and understanding, the first is kairos and another is chronos. Both stands for time, but the first one has the meaning God's opportune time, while the latter only means the sequential or linear time that human being used up (from this root we get the word of chronology). In short, one is divine and another is merely, human.

But in this verse, as I intrigued to look it up in the original language version, both used the same kairos word. It is not referring to kairos for Jesus and chronos for His brothers. It is referring kairos for both Jesus and His brothers.

I realized the difference is the view. Both sensed that going to that particular place (or do particular actions) is the right thing to do. However, while for His brother sensed that those are the particular opportune time for Jesus, given things that He has done(verse 3-4), Jesus is very clear about the timing of His action.

Most of the time, we knew what we supposed to do, especially in response to God's calling. But the question posed here, is it HIS timing?

Lord Jesus, lead me not only to know what to do, but also when to do it. You know exactly the kairos, the right timing. Teach me not to follow my own or others viewed kairos, but Yours kairos alone. In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.

Eyes on YOU

I do not know what to do, but my eyes are upon YOU....

Thank You Lord

Starting yesterday, I'd just come to realization, how much God loves me.

For the past half year, I have been working hard, trying hard to make a way out of my difficult and complicated situation. Each time, the more I tried, the harder I hit the wall. And as my faith grow weak, my walk with HIM grow weaker. I simply living day by day without any passion for not knowing where I am heading.

Till last night, I realized...and as I pondered upon God's faithfulness along these years. How miraculously He delivered me each time in the past. How wonderful His providence. Even so, when my situation seemed so hopeless...for the first time I feel and experience the Father heart of God.

I thank God that He closed every door that I tried for the past half year. I am SO grateful He did it for my goodness, for my future. For the sake of keeping me in line with the truth of HIS word. For setting a biblical foundation for my life and my future.

For people who may have observing a fraction of my life, they may say,"Where is your God?"

But deep in my heart I know, seeing the big picture, I can testify boldly,"This is surely the Protecting hands of My God." How grateful I am to be loved by such Great God.

My Father, my Father in heaven, thank You so much for protecting me. I didn't know how foolish I am, that You purposely closing every door to protect me. Thank You, for the time where I am simply lose faith and fall away, You are still faithful. Please forgive me for my unbelieving heart and sinful thoughts. I confess my sin before You. Thank you for your forgiveness. Thank You so much for Your peace, that You pour in my heart today. You are indeed a wonderful Father. Thank You, for allowing me to taste the loving hand of You, Father. In Jesus' wonderful name, I give thanks and pray. Amen.

I Can Begin Again

Beginning in 2009, I was stumbled upon one of my fave song from the past :)

I always love the tune (somehow reminds me of cool breeze on a windy day, of the gentle stroke of the Holy Spirit who accompanies me wherever I go). And yet, how wonderful the chorus reflecting the yearning of my heart :)

I CAN BEGIN AGAIN
by Larnelle Harris

Alone again in a crowded room
Cornered by the questions in my mind
It's so hard to understand
How the life that I had planned
Stole my joy and left me far behind

Though all I have is lost it seems
In the shadow of a dream that used to be
I can look beyond the skies
Deep into the Father's eyes
And see that there is hope for one like me

CHORUS:
I can begin again
With the passion of a child
My heart has caught a vision
Of a life that's still worthwhile

I can reach out again
Far beyond what I have done
Like a dreamer who's awakened
To a life that's yet to come
For new beginnings are not just for the young

I face the dawn of each brand new day
Free from all the doubt that gripped my past
For I've found in trusting Him
That everyday life starts again
As I look toward the things of life that last

CHORUS:
I can begin again
With the passion of a child
My heart has caught a vision
Of a life that's still worthwhile

I can reach out again
Far beyond what I have done
Like a dreamer who's awakened
To a life that's yet to come
For new beginnings are not just for the young

I can begin again
With the passion of a child
My heart has caught a vision
Of a life that's still worthwhile

I can reach out again
Far beyond what I have done
Like a dreamer who's awakened
To a life that's yet to come
For new beginnings are not just for the young

New beginnings are not just for the young
New beginnings are not just for the young

And if you wonder about the song, you can listen through this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6p_UPlfM71k

As I looked back, I thank God for His wonderful providence and grace in my life throughout 2008. Even though now my situation is still not seemingly bright and even though I don't know what the future is, I am so glad to be reminded of HIS wonderful love...that I can begin again, with a passion of a child, that even though all I have seemed lost, I can look into my Father's eyes and found tremendous grace there. Grace that reach out to me in my pit of sin and failures, of doubt and pain, and lift me up to another brand new start again, towards a worthwhile life of things that last.

Thank You Jesus, Jesus, thank You for a new beginning in YOU. Amen.

My Everlasting God

It's been a long time since I posted a music video on this blog. Found this song today in my friend's blog and later found a beautiful video:



I thank God that HE reminded me to wait upon HIM and knowing that HE is the everlasting GOD.

Viewing my current situation lately, I sure need to learn and re-learn to wait upon HIM and to fully surrender and trust in HIM, for I have proclaimed that HE is My Everlasting GOD.

Soli Deo Gloria...Be it unto me according to Your perfect will. Thank you so much for leading me all this time, in the midst of uncertainties and fears, and grant me Your peace beyond measure. Lord Jesus, I love You. Please forgive me for all my sin and doubt and fear. Instill in me the only right fear, that is the fear of You Lord, and teach me to live according to Your will. Let me wait upon YOU. Amen.

1 Prayer

Lord Jesus,

Take away my unwilling heart, create a bond servant heart within me. A rebellious mind and act You despise, but life of full surrender You desire. May it be the last for me, so that I can start anew with You. Oh Lord, please forgive my sin of disbelief and fear and filth. I long to walk with You, each step with Your Spirit as my ultimate Guide. Withholding nothing, regretting nothing. Giving it all, for the One who is my all in all. Let You be my vision, now and always.

In Jesus' precious name I pray, Amen.

Just like Jesus, at all cost

Following Jesus, at all cost
What would I’ve possibly lost?
All the earthly treasures
Have given me no pleasures
Following Jesus, at all cost

Believing Jesus, at all cost
For all things are possible for Lord of Hosts
Believing wholly, though against my thoughts
Believing Jesus, at all cost

Growing like Jesus, at all cost
Giving up all that I love the most
Just like He gave His all on the cross
Growing like Jesus, at all cost

~ 30 November 2005 ~

Lord, I need You to enable me to walk this poem as a living example, not only as a heart desire ...
In Jesus' name I fervently pray, Amen.

...thirsty...

Lord...

I'm thirsty...

Will You come and quench my thirsty soul?

Show me the way to Your heart...

Open my eyes to Your truth...

The beauty of Your statutes...

Whisper to my ears Your hidden revelation...

I long so much to know You more...

In Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.

God is indeed faithful...

Been reading Corrie Ten Boom's "In My Father's House"...and can't help my tears from falling...

There are many stories which touched my heart...but the two which are the most unforgettable to me are the "From Generation to Generation" and "Let the Children Come" stories.

In "From Generation to Generation", Corrie shared how her grandfather, together with his minister, were faithfully praying for God's people, the Jews. Unexpectedly, God answered the prayers exactly 100 years later, where her father and her sisters and her brother's son sacrificed their lives for helping and hiding the Jews. Corrie herself were also imprisoned. This all happened in the same house, which used to be the place for the prayer gathering and then for the fulfillment of those prayers.

My mind flew back to the memories of my senior high school years. There were many spiritual lessons which I have learned back then. One of those is how faithful God is in answering our prayers. Back then, there was no christian student fellowship in my school. Several christian students were gathering once a week for praying. Praying for the school, the students, the teachers, and of course, so that there will be christian fellowship in the school. We faced such a tough opposition, for every week we had to secure a place in the school to pray. At first we used the classroom after school hour was over, but then it was forbidden. Then we moved into the student counseling room, which were much smaller than the classroom. But our place of 'refuge' was not for a long period. In such a short time, we all were banned to pray. At that time, somehow, deep in my heart, and my friends' hearts, we believe that we had planted the seeds. Tough may it seemed, but yet, we believe there is nothing useless when we're doing God's will faithfully. Then I graduated from the school and never heard anything about it again. Years later, my youngest sister happened to enroll in this same school. One day she shared how the christian student fellowship had just started and how God was providing every support they need abundantly. God even arranged one church located across the school which opened the place for the students to have the fellowship every Friday. Previously, during my days, there was only a blank field across the school...

It was such a meaningful lesson for me, for God reminded me of how He heard those prayers, even though back then we had to sneak around just to find a safe place to pray. A prayer, offered fervently before God, is heard. And God is indeed faithful in answering...

In Corrie's stories, it took 100 years for God to answer her grandfathers' prayer. In my story, it only took 3 years. It doesn't matter how long it may seemed, as long as we have faith in the Most Faithful One, He indeed will answer our prayers...

So glad that the Lord we serve is the One whose faithfulness is stretching far beyond our life time. How comforting to know, that many of our prayers, which we may not see the result in our life time, but then, in God's kairos, there will come the time for the answers to our prayers.

In "Let the Children Come", Corrie shared a story about a little girl named Mary. Corrie had just finished speaking to a group of parents, challenging them to bring their little children to Christ. For Corrie herself had made the decision for Jesus when she was 5 years old. One of the parents, who had a little daughter named Mary, went home and did what just had been taught. That night, her little girl gave her heart to Jesus in her bed. The next morning, this little girl was joyfully went to school, singing many songs about heaven, for she was so happy knowing that Jesus was now in her heart and made her a child of God. That particular day, an accident happened, her little girl was hit by a car and killed immediately. This sad news was shocking, but then the father of this little girl, who never made a decision for Lord Jesus, accepted Jesus as his Saviour that day. And on the burials day, many of Mary's friends came to the Lord as well.

Talk about obedience to God, to obey Him right away when we heard His truth. Talk about changing our mindset. So many times, we take lightly of chance and time, thinking that there will always someday to talk to someone or do something which we know God wants us to do. Often, we are lazy, or if not, we are crippled by our own fear. We choose comfort over obedience...God, please forgive me, for my disobedience, out of laziness and fear, I often delaying obeying You...Let me focus on You instead of myself or situation. For You know the best...give me a willing heart to obey You fully, with no reservation.

We also took lightly to tell the little children the Good News of salvation, thinking that when they grow older, we'll let them know. I have to testify, if I never knew Jesus since my young age, I would never live until today...I owe so much to those who bring me to Christ in my early childhood. Coming from a non-Christian family background, one thing which I am so grateful throughout the years is that God allows me to know Him in my early age. I know for different people, God has His own timing in meeting them. But I'm forever grateful that God choose to let me know Him in my childhood.

Lord Jesus, how can I ever say thank You...Words could not express what is in my heart...for Your love is flowing continuously and changing my life...Thank You for allowing even little children to come to know You...You are awesome...In Jesus' mighty name I pray, Amen.

An open prayer

Dearest Abba,

Thank You ...for everything...

I know You're always on time...never too late...though some may think it may be too late (10 years? :P)

Unexpectedly, slipping slowly, softly, yet surely into my heart...

No matter what awaits for me in the future, Daddy, I give You my heart, my life, my future... I know, You know the best for your beloved children...I'll be waiting for You, for Your perfect will...

I've learned, I don't need to know where we're going, as long as I walk side by side with the One who loves me, I will be just fine. The road may seemed turned and twisted unknowingly, yet I know, I will be safe and sound in the end, reaching Your destination. It's not only heading to the right way, but also enjoying all along the journey with You-though I may seemed at times got lost :P

Hold my hands, my beloved Saviour, my heart is ready by Your grace.

Thank you once again...

Love,

Viola Deo

Isaiah 41:13 For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'

???

What is it in Your mind? I was wondering...have I gone too far? Or I'm just at the brink of Your perfect will?

Guess this is like the moment, when You called Peter to step out of the boat, and walk on the water...

Not only I never walk on the water before...naturally I am a lousy swimmer as well.

Oh, God, hands up---I surrender all: be it unto me according to Your will.

Sweet little surprise :D

It's been a tough week...yet...surprisingly, God gave a sweet little surprise.

Started like an ordinary day at work. Got called to attend a meeting...in such a short period time of notice (half hour only).

Then, when I got there, I got more than just doing my work.

I got a brand new DIGITAL CAMERA, 5 mega pixel, plus the 512 MB memory card.

Couldn't believe it the first time, still amazed until now...

Dear Lord,

Thank You for this sweet little surprise. You know every details of my life. My desire and my longing, my needs and my wants. I'm speechless Lord, not because of what I got, but because of Your care. Thank You, for giving such a lovely attention.

Forever grateful,

Viola Deo

True Prayer

In our lives--in the middle of tight schedules, and struggles of daily living--it is so easy for us to lose our true prayer life. Now, what happen is not that we are not praying at all. As the matter of fact, we do. But it is what drives our prayer life which really concerns me. I'm really grateful for the fact that even in our limitation and not-so-right approach towards prayer, He still a compassionate and faithful God, who answers graciously. Not that we think only big matters we need to hand over to God in prayer. Every tiny bits of our life matters, as a matter of fact, needs to be commit into God's hand. And regarding Him as our Provider, it is a right thing to do for us to come to the Lord in prayer for guidance, help, and blessings. It's a good habit, for we couldn't carry on without Him. But what I want to share here is beyond that.

What I got reminded this week, is the proportion of the reason behind our approaching God. Giving thanks every time we want to eat, well, that's one of habit. Praising Him every time we feel the joy of the Lord, that's another habit to cultivate. But most of the time, we're hurry to say our prayer, because there is a problem in our lives. It may be small, it may be huge. It may be a longing or need; it may be a uncomfortable situation we want to be gone as soon as possible. It could be also prayer request for those who dear to our hearts. Not that saying all these prayers are wrong or forbidden. God really wants us to trust Him with the matters of our lives. But more than that, He longs to connect with our hearts. And we are created for a close relationship with Him.

This truth should immerse our prayer lives also. When we approach Him in prayer, what are really driving us towards Him? Problems? Fears? Or deep longings for Him?

When I come to learn this truth, I realize somehow, there are some misunderstanding about God which I need to renounce. One of the misunderstanding which often slipped into our mind is that for every problems which occurred in our life, God allows it to bring us closer to Him. No wonder we often equates prayer with petition. Yes, problems which occur may draw us closer (as at the same time, problems have the same probabilities to draw us away from God). What I learn is, God do have longing for us to draw closer to Him (far greater than what we can ever imagine really) but truly, He is not manipulating situation to take advantage of it, as our thoughts deceived us. How do I learn it? He has proved it more than 2.000 years ago. If problem is what we need to draw closer to God, Jesus did not have to come to this earth. The reason we are facing problems is firstly, we have a broken relationship with Him. It's not the problem which draw us closer to God. In the beginning, it is our state apart from God which draw problem into our lives. (You may want to read the Genesis to learn this truth).

Now that we have a restored relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, how do we approach God? The essence of prayer is not in the beauty of the words spoken, nor the length of time we spent. It's in connecting our hearts with His. Getting to know Him as He is. More than just having faith in His power, or hoping for His help. How do we draw near to Him, with a full heart, longing only for Him, to reveal Himself to us?

By night on my bed I sought the one I love; I sought him, but I did not find him. "I will rise now," I said, "And go about the city; In the streets and in the squares I will seek the one I love." I sought him, but I did not find him. (Song of Solomon 3:1-2-NKJV)

How many times do we come to the Lord in prayer, we long to seek Him and He alone? Forgetting our daily lives matter. Not saying a word of petition. Just come to meet Him. And talk to Him, and listen to Him, to know Him better. To really connect with Him. That's the true communion: intimacy with God. That's what true lovers do. Not coming to gain advantage of another. But simply come to relate, to connect, and to know another better. And that seeking is a passionate seeking. Just like the Shulamite in the verses above. She was seeking with all her heart for her love, till she went about the city, the streets and the squares. How passionate are we when we come to God in prayer? I'm not talking about when we desperately need for help, nor when we are joyful receiving blessings. I'm talking about a passion when we come to Him in prayer to have communion with Him. To really know Him and spend time with Him and grow in love with Him.

I'm still learning. When I think of my own prayer life, I have to admit, I have failed so many times to really come to God in prayer for the sake of knowing Him alone. Thank God, He is so gracious, that He taught me this truth. He reminds me of the longing of His heart for His children. As He promised:

Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, (Jeremiah 29:12-14a-NKJV)

The final question now is: Will I come to receive His promise? Will you?

Lord Jesus, thank You for the chance of coming to You in prayer. Please forgive me, for so many times I come with my list of petitions, and problems to solve. I forgot Your heart's desire in the first place is to commune with me. Let me long for You wholeheartedly. Grant me the fire of passion to know You more. Above and beyond my needs. Draw me closer for who You are, not for what I think I need. Jesus, help me to live my life in love with You. Let me pray, first and for all, in deep longing to meet You. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.