Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Last post

for this year!

First of all, I would like to say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Second, I would like to use this last post to express gratitude to my Lord...for this year has bring a lot of blessings in my life. As I look back this year, 2012 will be the year that stands out, due to:

1. Smileybaby :)
My firstborn, my beloved daughter. I never thought that despite my health condition, God still choose to give the miracle of birth to me. I remember the first time I was in the midst of my health struggle thinking of what I would like to have when I recover (if is the word used back then). I haven't fully recovered, but God choose to entrusted this little girl into my loving care. I am so grateful.

2. My hubby
I am grateful for our marriage. We've been through sickness and pain, joy and happiness as well. I realize being his wife is one of wonderful blessings in my life. Blessing that I've never expected. Glad that God lead our journey to be together.

3. Hope for new home
We got our key! We will be moving to our new place next year. After moving here and there, it's such a big relief we finally got the place of our own. I pray that this gift of shelter could a home of peace for all who enter in and out.

4. Improved Energy level
I am extremely grateful for this one. Though I have not fully recovered yet, the pregnancy and breastfeeding hormones somehow helps to improve my energy level. I think the only time it gotten worse is only during the third trimester and of course, after delivery. But apart from that, I am coping with this new motherhood. Which I have no idea but faith to do in the beginning. God is faithful. All our concerns and worries (whether I can be strong enough to take care of my baby) is being addressed by God. My energy level improved, so I can take care of my little one. She is growing well and healthy. Of course, my daily activities are not perfectly done, but I am glad the essentials are done. Remember my last idea about prioritizing my activities due to the limited energy level? Well, it serves me really well with motherhood. I will be sharing this point sometime in the future, again, when my energy level permits:)

5. Supply of milk
Glad that God still supply milk through me for my baby. I pray that I can continue breastfeeding till the time is up :) In the beginning the breastfeeding process is really tough. Pain, bleeding, you name it. But after hanging on for sometime, eventually my body get used to it. And that really brings change, especially now I can enjoy  Smileybaby even more. She loves to smile, every morning before drinking, and at the end of the feeds. Such a great motivation for mommy.

Well that's the short list for this year. What are your list of thanksgiving for this year?

Lord, thank You for this year, for Your presence, for Your blessings. In Jesus' name. Amen.:)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

another baby steps


Dear Readers,

Sorry that it took me so long to write. I have been busy. God has been good to me. In the midst of my health issue struggle, He bestowed on me little one. Now I am busy with her. Suddenly my life activities and priorities change. My treatment I put on hold. Thank God the pregnancy and breastfeeding period somehow helps my body. I have improved energy level, though I still feel tired from time to time. But I am grateful for at least I can still care for the little one.

Above is her growing feet picture. Reminds me of baby steps...

I hope one of my baby steps now is to revamp this blog (again hahaha). My life has changed tremendously...so I am about to change this blog content. As my baby is growing, I think my blog need some growing also. Content wise. I will still post lessons I got in my daily walk with HIM and how He has spoken or act in my life. But I think it's time to add other topics as well...which I hope will bless you readers. I can't promise of regularity yet, but my prayer is still the same from the beginning of the birth of this blog: be blessed. I pray that this blog will bless and continue to bless anyone who happened to stop by.

For we serve the God who bless,

VD

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

My LBMP :D

I've been thinking of changing a bit of the content of this blog, or else open another blog (in another place). My beloved hubby will help me with new blog, but it still on development. So meanwhile I will post things here and see whether I need to split the thing or just drop everything in one blog.

As several days ago I come across my light bulb moment :P Hence, I called my new project my Light Bulb Moment Project.

This is my personal project, and I will see whether it can help me to cope with the trouble I facing thus far. I am grateful to the Lord as He has sustained me so far. The reason I am thinking to share, besides as the testimony of God's faithfulness in my life, is also as the encouragement for those who suffer (though maybe we may not suffer from the same thing). I hope you can learn from my experiments and mistakes, as I have learnt from others as well. Our condition can be different (as in the type or severity of the condition), but I always believe God stays the same. He is good, despite my physical condition. And I was reminded again and again how His grace and love protects me thus far. I would say it's the moment of joy in the pain. I can't take the pain away, but the good news is nobody can take the joy away as well.

First of all, the project is to do with 'menial' things. I know many people will not appreciate it, but for us, it's necessary for our survival.

So here it is, I am gathering ideas to simplify life and save energy. I am thinking of something like a budget/schedule, but instead of denominated in $$ or time, it will be denominated in energy.



After struggling for about 2 years, I come to realize that this is a long journey. Instead of getting angry, depressed, sad, or even self-pity, I might as well view this as another phase in my life. Being pregnant does help. It gives me a perspective of changing life. I did mourn for my lost, but now it's time to turn mourning into dancing. I don't care if I can only do the dancing in my heart and mind, as long as it is a dance before my God, I think He is pleased with it.

Though I still hoping for full recovery, I will make the most of my current state. I am grateful for a very supportive husband, who still love me and help me throughout this difficult situation. And of course, God, who keep on teaching me the essential things in the midst of this world. Stripped of the inessential and clinging on the essential is not an easy lesson to take. But if this is His curriculum, I am willing to take it. For eternity sake :D

So yeah, will see how many ideas I can really put to work, and how many ideas are just...well, ideas. Perhaps some of the ideas won't work for me, but somehow it will work for you.

The most important thing in this project is to keep the essential the essential. Priority needs to be taken care of. We may lose a lot of quantity of life, but we can always try not to give up on the quality. In the end, it's the quality that counts :)

Monday, May 21, 2012

Everything new.

Got a wind of some energy today (guess all my mom's cooking really contribute to this, besides resting for the past several days) and thinking to update my blog.

Surprised to find new display for blogger. I am a bit disappointed, 'cause I am looking for old view. But I guess I have to get use to the new...which bring me to the purpose of this post.

As I had promised (I know, it seemed ages ago, but it's only months actually :P), the good news is that currently I am pregnant! That's new. I never experience it before.

And given my frailty, for the first time in my life I am so glad I am a woman. Why? Well, I just past my second trimester, which people say it's a bliss. To tell the truth, in the beginning of my pregnancy, I felt a bit worse. All the toothache, fatigue, and pain came back with vengeance, not to mention additional trouble like vomiting and loss of appetite. I was housebound for the first trimester.

But then the things change and I get into second trimester. And this is the part where I am so grateful for being a woman. Cause I feel better:D I mean really better. Yes, I still feel the fatigue and have more muscle ache here and there (due to extra weight I am carrying I guess), but overall it is much much much better. Apparently I belong to the lucky group (one study said 30% of people like me do feel better during pregnancy, somehow, perhaps due to the hormones change). I guess it's a bit discriminating, cause for men who suffered the similar plague can never experience these moments.

I don't know what awaits for me for the third trimester, I do hope things get better or at least not getting worse. But who knows, I entrusted that fully to my God, who is gracious to me all this time.

What else? I think I become more accustomed to my NEW life lately. Not the pregnancy part (though that is included). I mean accepting my chronic fatigue and other conditions which come with it.

No, I haven't give up hope to get well one day. As a matter of fact, now that I  am pregnant, I am more determined to go for the treatment (which I had to postpone due to pregnancy). I still believe there is a lot of lessons await for me along this journey. But I came to accept the limitation of the illness. Every little things that I couldn't do, no matter how hard I work on my intention. I come across this wonderful 'light bulb moment' just the other day.
I don't know whether it's viable for me or not. But it sure give me comfort, knowing that even though it doesn't work, it has bring lighter and brighter perspective to my days:)

So, the conclusion of this post is that, let's welcome the new, even though we might not like it in the first place. After all, it's also one of God providence in our lives. Good or bad, we can't judge till the end. And I am still far from the end:)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Come Lift Up Your Sorrows

This will be my first post in this year. Took sometime for me to gather my strength, after a shocking wonderful news :D What is it? oh well, just wait, I will update later;-) Meanwhile, I would like to post one of my fave songs. The song especially speak to me lately:)




COME LIFT UP YOUR SORROWS

Michael Card

If you are wounded, if you are alone,
If you are angry, if your heart is cold as stone,
If you have fallen and if you are weak,
Come find the worth of God that only the suffering seek.

Come lift up your sorrows And offer your pain;
Come make a sacrifice Of all your shame;
There in your wilderness, He’s waiting for you
To worship Him with your wounds, For He’s wounded too.

He has not stuttered, and He has not lied
When He said, “Come unto me, you’re not disqualified”
When your heavy laden, you may want to depart,
But those who know sorrow are closest to His heart.

In this most Holy Place He’s made a sacred space
For those who will enter in and trust to cry out to Him;
You’ll find no curtain there, no reason left for fear;
There’s perfect freedom here to weep every unwept tear.

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