This week has been an unforgotten week for human history, about two thousand years ago. Reading again the passages, remembering each scene which have took place for the Lamb of God to surrender His blameless life for you...and me.
As I reflect on God's love for humankind, I can't help it to see God's love in my own personal life. How His eyes has never taken off from me (and you as well--my God has a GREAT vision :D) and how still we as a human often forgot His loving kindness and faithfulness.
I believe it is not a coincidence that during this unforgettable week, I got an unforgettable lesson on becoming a true witness of God (again!!). If you're following my posts, well, you know what has happened in my recent walk with God. (If you haven't know, you can read it here: http://violadeo.blogspot.com/2007/03/always-be-ready.html)
Apparently, yesterday morning I had another interview, this time by phone, because my interviewer is located in another country. (not far from here though... :P) And i thought it would be just a job interview. It turns out that it was, but not only that. To my surprise (again!!), I was asked the address of this blog. "Oh my God," I thought," I've just posted the story about the interview, not to mention other personal stories as well." But I could sense in that critical moment that somehow, God hasn't finished with the previous event. So, I gave the address in faith, well, of course I really didn't have much choice after all:P
I wish I could tell you that afterwards everything turns out to be great. Unfortunately, NO(not in the beginning though...). What happened afterwards is, I could feel that I really, I mean, I got mixtures of uneasy feelings. You know, the kind of feelings you got when you have to go on stage and sing while you have limited memory about the lyrics or even worse, you got that voice that could kill people (literally!) when they listen to you. My heart was beating speedily, and of course, I turned to God in prayer. 'Why, Lord?' Strangely, this verse came up to my mind as an answer:
"Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them."- Hebrew 11:16 (NKJV)
This verse directly pierced into my worrying heart.
'Are you ashamed to confess that I am your God?'
"Well, of course not. But I didn't know the interviewer's belief backgrounds. And I don't know what she would think about my posts. Oh, God, please help me. Don't let me bring shame to Your name. Holy Spirit, please touch the hearts of the readers, whoever they are, whatever their beliefs, so that Your name maybe glorified and they may get the blessings." I prayed, over and over again. Not only that, I asked some close friends of mine to pray for this particular matters.
So, there went my whole Wednesday. Just because I'm aware that this is a Passover week doesn't necessarily mean that I become that 'giant of faith' person. As a matter of fact, I could see my own faithlessness, even in the midst of God's faithfulness (Passover is the evidence of God's faithfulness). I think God is right,my lesson on this witnessing subject still not finished yet.
This morning when I wake up, I'm really grateful that after not-so-peaceful night before, God somehow grants me His peace. Peace beyond all understanding. I thank God that He knew my struggle, and He helped me to cope with that. I'm also give thanks to Him, though I don't know what the result may be, I know He is faithful. I learn to put my trust in His faithfulness and not on the situation, no matter how bad it may seem to my physical eyes.
Turns out...God answered me, unexpectedly, in His faithfulness. My friend who happened to read my blog yesterday wrote that she really got blessed by my posts. And also, my interviewer as well :D (it's interesting to note that they have similar names:P)
So, lesson of the week, let God shows you His faithfulness, even when you feel that you're not that faithful at all to Him. For it is written:
"If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself."- 2 Tim 2:13
May you have a blessed Passover week!
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