Always be ready

I'm always amazed when I experience the Word of God in my daily life. I think in orchestrating the step of our lives, God, the Ultimate Creator, are truly truly ...creative? amazing? wonderful? :P (all those words can't really captured what's in my heart-- I'm running out of words this time.)

It happened two days ago, in the midst of my interview for a new job, suddenly I was asked about my writing experience. My past professional experiences did give me some exposure in report writing, but apparently what the interviewer asked was something different. So, in response to that, I mentioned my hobby of writing of stuffs which --i thought unfortunately at that moment--has nothing to do with the job I'm applying for. I said it is 'spiritual' material, not business material. To my surprise, the interviewer asked me to explain my most recent article. Suddenly I was afraid, worried, I mean, there I was, in the midst of job interview for a position which is purely business, and I was asked about my writing in spiritual thing! And I don't know the interviewers--means I have no idea what their personal beliefs background are. Finally, I gathered my courage to tell the truth (which was what I got during my meditation last time:P). I explained as an opening that I am a Christian and my recent article is about my meditation of the Word of God.

And if you're wondering about my 'presentation', yes, I did explain the whole Hebrew words, the meaning and the effect of having God as our Master in life, referring to Psalm 90 :1 (If you haven't read my previous blog, you can read it here: http://violadeo.blogspot.com/2007/03/dwelling-place.html)
In short, it was a verbal version of the summary of my previous blog.

My emotion was changing from being afraid and worried, into feeling strange and awkward, but eventually, I could really 'flow' and I felt that God Himself was there with me in that meeting room.

Praise to God, I passed that level of interview, but of course, there are another test I have to face. But still, on my way home, even until today, my heart is filled with joy. I always know that as a Christian, becoming a true witness of God is something innate in our spiritual man. But I never thought that when I prayed to God, asking for guidance and grace of God for the interview, I would be given such honor. I mean, I did say that God, help me to be your true witness today, in my speech and deeds, for Your glory. God reminded me later that what had happened was an answered prayer. I was given a chance to explain the Word of God before 2 foreigners. It's not my initiative at all, God just planned it out, to answer my prayer, beyond my expectation. God also really have a HUGE sense of humour :D What I mean is, what I wrote is about our relationship with God as Our Master, and God gave me the chance to explain it to my future-can-be boss (read : master)?

He is truly Our Master, and I am witness to that, ready or not :D

God, thank You for the chance of introducing You to others. I know it is a grace given to me. Not that I'm worthy, but because You're willing. I pray that the seed of God's Word may grow and produce its fruits in due seasons. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Dwelling Place

Psalm 90:1

LORD, You have been our dwelling place in all generations.

Been meditating this one simple scripture for the whole morning. It's common how we usually get too accustomed to particular truth of the Word that we forgot to chew more and sink deeper in the truth.

As usual, I used to read the whole passage, particularly in Psalm. Jump from one verse to another verse. But today, this opening of Moses' prayer really caught me on the spot.

LORD in this verse in the source language is 'Adonay' which means Master. This is one of the term which express God's character and role in our life. Master. Lord. More than just Saviour. In our walk with God, there are many characteristics of God which we ought (means will, if we haven't) to experience through our daily lives. It's one thing to look up in the Bible, reading the character of God or studying the name of God (which reflects His character in the end), but it's a different thing to experience Him as He is in our real lives. The question is have we experience Him as our Master? Perhaps better rephrased: Have we allowed Him to be our Master? Master in our daily lives, in our choices, in our attitude, in our words, in our deeds, in our thoughts, in our feelings--in short, in our whole existences.

Now, the truth above play a major role in the rest meaning of the verse. LORD, You have been our dwelling place in all generations. We're all know what dwelling place means. A place to live in; residence;house; abode. Home. What really interesting here is the word in all generations. In Hebrew, the word for generations here could also mean dwelling-place, habitation. Now, if it is read with the another meaning from the translation, it may paraphrased like this:

Master, You have been our dwelling place in all dwelling-place... You have been our home in all habitation.

Not that the fact that God has been faithful to be our refuge throughout the generations of the believers is not true. But apparently there is something more than just the truth about God's faithfulness in this verse. It was experiencing Him as a dwelling place, no matter where we are or stay, in our relationship with Him as Master.

How can we experience God as a dwelling place (read: home) while we view Him as our Master?

After the Fall, humankind have had difficulties in having the right perspective about God. Especially in term of Someone who is superior. Some of us have difficulties in regarding God as a Loving Father, because we never have an earthly father who shows love to us. This tainted our image about our God as a Father. Even more difficult to that is viewing God as a Loving yet Just Master. For the humankind which has suffer a long term of injustice slavery, a word Master still haunted us to this day. In our hearts we want to be free, we hate to be slaves. And we thought having a Master will certainly bring us into a slavery, a state which seemed unfavorable to all mankind. Is it so with God?

Before I'm getting too far into the arguments of master-slavery relationship facts, I just want to say that same as the tainted image of God as a father, we also have a perverted definition about master and slave relationship. That has become an issue in our relationship with God. I don't know about you, but for me, calling God (and of course, really regarding Him in my heart and attitude) as my Master is not easy-quick change after I was born again. There are many issues involved. Trust is #1. Following Him with total surrender, means THOROUGH ABANDONMENT. Struggles and doubts are not uncommon. Want a simple example? God wants us to be honest, but in many situations we found ourselves so easily compromising in our talks. (And we give a beautiful name to that = white lies). Now when we have done wrong, God in His great grace give a way out. Confess your sin (which right away our 'intelligent' mind take over the arguments= but it was for good, if not it will be worse, or... I don't have other options, etc.--add as you like), ask for forgiveness, ask God to cleanse us, and the last yet not the least part, confess the truth to those we have lied to, when God told us to. (OK--I'm just experience this, for a 'white lie' on Saturday night, took me a period till Monday afternoon to confess to another party who has being lied to. Thanks to God--the outcome is not as bad as I imagine before. God, please forgive me for not trusting You wholly.) Calling God as our MASTER requires that, not sometimes, but all the time. The good news is, no matter how often we failed Him, His grace is sufficient for us to repent and start all over again :D Now, that's what I called a True Master. Full of grace and mercy, yet is righteous and just. I do hope this little example could give a better picture for you to view this relationship.

As I learn this part of my relationship with God, the Word of God say that He is Our refuge no matter where we are. This mean that we can only tap into the reality of experiencing God as our Shelter after we make Him our Master. I'm still growing in this lesson, but I do challenge anyone who read this blog to really put this to test. Why don't you try it with your life, just in simple things (like telling the truth ALL the time)? I believe you will experience God is TRULY a Shelter, a Refuge, a HOME you've been searching for...

I give this invitation because I have experienced it myself. I'm not giving you my promise, I'm just restated His promise, which myself has experienced over and over again--I do hope and pray that by the grace of God, I could continue on this path. I have to add, our knowledge about Him will grow, as we walk in obedience to HIM. We obey Him because He is our Master. You obey your master. And the motivation is not afraid of the bad consequences if we're not willing to obey. But really, the motivation is TRUST and LOVE. Now that it's something that needs God's grace and revelation to understand. Obeying your Master out of love and trust. (OK, further explanations maybe covered in another posts ;P)

When we experience God as our true home, we don't have to fear the instability of place change or any other change. There is a very popular adage in regarding to change which people often quote to endorse change or to cope with the inconvenience of change :

Nothing endures but change.--Heraclitus (540 BC - 480 BC), from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers

Though it may be true for the facts of life, but when we have found God as our home, we found that stability, that security, that fulfillment that we've been searching and longing for all this time. Because in life, besides change, God stays the same. He is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow.(Hebrew 13 :8) We may be experiencing relocation--planned or unplanned, change-- wanted or unwanted, even to the extreme of none (like suddenly losing everything, homeless, penniless, etc.). But when we found Him as our home, we won't be homeless anymore. To get into that point, and to stay in that state, is a constant preserved relationship with Him as our Master.

Christians

Just received a wonderful poem-fwd by my friend. It's a work by Maya Angelou.

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting, "I'm clean living'."
I'm whispering, "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

Such a profound poem, hope you are blessed by it as much as I am.

Points to ponder

It's been a while since I'm updating this blog. For the last 2 days been pretty busy attending seminar about the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. My thoughts has been directed to that particular topic for the last couple of days. Several confirmations, resolutions (guess I got better understanding now than before- thanks a lot to Prof.Dr. Brian J. Bailey), and of course, motivation and passion to fulfill God's calling. I know there are many interpretation regarding the end time (or the explanation of 'super hard passages' of Daniel-OT and Revelation-NT). But up to this point of my learning, (I'm still learning though & plan to keep on learning till my time is over :D) I think there several important points need to be carefully kept in heart and mind:

1. The truth of 2nd coming of Jesus Christ is greater than the 1st coming in the Bible (the passages and prophesies are far greater in amount) but sadly, the explanation about the 2nd coming is less than the 1st coming. I mean, we all are so familiar with the Christmas story, with all the details (OK, biblical facts plus the cultural ones). But regarding the 2nd coming, I guess many people already settled for the controversies and opinions, much sourced from speculation and in the end, not stand the tests of time. I guess that's why some people are very careful in discussing this 'sensitive' topics. I'm not saying that we should not be careful. Yes, we have to be careful in learning and teaching the truth of God. But this doesn't mean that our fear of being 'careless' drag us away from telling the hard truth. Just because there are many controversies, doesn't mean we should not discuss it in the light of God's word and getting the right perspective from the Word of God. After all, it's a learning process. The more we rely on God, Holy Spirit, the Helper, will certainly teach us ALL things and bring to our remembrance all thing that Jesus said to us. (John 14:26) I believe ALL here including the truth regarding the things which will come to pass. (It's very interesting to note that Jesus' teaching about the end time are all mentioned in the 3 Synoptic Gospel [read: Matthew 24:1-51, Mark 13:1-37, Luke 21:5-38])
2. Based on point #1 above, I guess it's about time we bring hard truth to light. With faith that God will reveal the truth to us, we press forward in searching the very heart and thoughts of God so that we may please Him in doing what He wants us to do. This mean moving beyond all the controversies and dispute over theories and aiming for the essentials. The essentials of living with a perspective of eternity, yet knowing how limited time we have on earth. Walking with a sense of peace and security, yet not forgetting to do what needs to be done in the right timing. No hurry, no worry, just having the right perpective in life. But having perspective of eternity is something easy to say, yet so hard to do. Unless by the grace of God, the perspective of eternity is impossible to preserve. The question which is really important to ask is not what do you do today for God, but what do God wants you to do today. God is everlasting. Of all great characteristics of God, i think everlasting is the most distinguish one. All that God wants us to do-no matter how trivial or useless it may seem now sometimes-has always eternal consequences. Having this thought in mind, brings great consolation in the midst of trials and storms of life. On the other hand, this thought also frame the very motivation of our hearts. God sees it. Clearly.

So, I encourage us (yes, me included) to seeking the truth, esp regarding end times. Not the controversies, not the predictions. Just the truth, so that we may walk in light and not be robbed of our eternal rewards.

For the first time

Today apparently i encounter some of the first experience I've ever done in my life. Some of those 'first time' are:

1. Attending the e-worship & sermon service instead of regular weekly service.
2. Jotting down the sermon point by typing instead of hand writing.

Now, I know, one of irreplaceable part of the full life of true believer is going to worship God weekly as a part of body of Christ. As a matter of fact, the limitation that I faced this week at first have really bothered me. I mean...here I am...with a heart of longing, yet my body is somehow 'tied' to a particular place. But I managed to surrender to God and cried out to Him. Asking help: God, what do you want me to do in regard to this problem?

As usual, God always have surprises in the midst of irregularities, miracles in the midst of impossibilities. So, after taken my breakfast, I felt led by the Holy Spirit to turn on the computer and trying to reach a LIVE web cast worship service. And it happened that I come right on time :D

At first, praise and worship God alone in front of computer may seem a bit awkward, but then as I enter the presence of God, though there are some 'distractions', I finally can enjoy it. Furthermore, the sermon today really goes hand in hand with the lessons God's been teaching me lately. So, here's some of the points which I got during the sermon: (by the way, the preacher today is Rev.Dr.Phil Pringer)

During the offering time:

• Bring your FIRST and BEST to God.
• When we come to God, we don’t bring what we want to bring, but we bring what He wants us to bring.
• The difference between your best and God’s best is enormous.
• When you give your God your best, He will start to pour on you His best.

During the praying time:

• All revivals are started with prayer, sustaining with prayer.
• There is no way you can move in the Holy Spirit unless you pray. Prayer is the secret of Christian life.
• The devil knows that if he can put dirt /stone/dead camel in your well, you will no longer thirst of God, so always alert to make sure your spiritual well is clean and clear so that the fountain of life could flow.
• Whatever you’re facing right now, you pray. You're gonna beat this thing.

During the sermon : (the passage is taken from 2 Kings 4:8-37)

• God will occasionally visit the house. God offers us opportunity over time. It’s not about what we want from God. It's about whether we really want Him or not.
• You got to want God more than what HE can do for you. It’s not about people seeking God to heal their land, but to seek God for Himself.
• Bible example : One day, all in Job’s life gone except God Himself. Still, Job is able to give thanks with God's presence only. Moses rather stay in wilderness with God's presence instead of going to Canaan without God.
• Often we found ourselves 'running out/losing' of God's blessing, or even the regular things we're so accustomed to in our walk with God, like cell, ministry, etc (truly, this part really speak into my heart)-God take it out away for you to rediscover God. Only God and God alone.
• You need to make room for God. Room means time. We’re busy, busy people. Still, we need to make room for Him if we really want Him to stay in our life.
• In the Old Testament, there are many types of house of God, like the Moses' tabernacle, David's tabernacle, etc. Of all types of tabernacle build for God, God wants David tabernacle to be rebuild. Why? Because in other types, God is in the Holy of Holiest, and only 1 person per year can go and meet God. Unlike David's tabernacle. When David came, he found something different. David loves the presence of God. He knows that God is the One who we can be close to, not an 'angry person' which is so hard to reach. This is proven when Jesus died on the cross, the veil into the Holy of Holiest is tore down so that God can go out and meet people. God doesn't want to be kept in the back.
  That's why when David become king, he recover the ark of God, because he wants the presence of God.
• You are the one who carry the presence of God. God doesn’t travel on the program, but on the person. God is response to the man, not the rod. It’s not the song, but the people who sing it.
• God loves being with people who wants Him. The woman in the passage said: I don’t want visitation, I want Him to come and stay. That's why she make room for God. She put things there so that God stay there.
• We need to set our mindset to let God stay there. A negative mindset don't see God. Got to positive mindset, good attitude. You got to dream the dream God given you. What is your future like = whatever you’re dreaming. Discipline your mind = you become extraordinary person. Everything on earth first birth in the spirit. Believe God in your mind, speak the word of God. When you program with the Word of God, your brain start to know right and wrong. You’re moving in the realm of power when you feed on the word of God. Guard the gates of your eyes with the Word of God; it will save you, transform your life. You need the light of His Word. Put the chair only for Jesus to sit. He is the Lord:the One who gives command. Find out how to obey Him.The Holy Spirit will tell you how to/what to do. Don’t prepare before hand, Holy Spirit will lead you. Even if you prepared, stay open, let God to do something in your life.
• When you put God in your house, you're gonna have miracle. When you connected the finance, time, etc. to the house of God, you're gonna have the miracle. House of God is the presence of God in your life.
• Spent a lot of time with the Holy Spirit. When you make room for God, He will come along.
• When you make room for God, barrenness disappear, fruitfulness come.
• The woman in the passage speaks words of faith despite of her situation. She is not worry. She makes room for God in her conversation. She wants God. God will moves into the space you create for Him.
• Elijah goes the extra mile, revivals begin. If you would make room for God, the life will come revive again.

No need to say, after the wonderful closing prayer of the sermon, I was smiling victoriously :D God once again open the way for me to worship and fellowship with Him. Though the circumstances may come against me, still the devil won't win. This week, I still got the chance to worship God and listen to His voice, even when I can't go anywhere.

Thank Your Lord, You are awesome. I'm so grateful that You make a way for me to worship You, even when I couldn't do it in the same way as usual. Thank You for the technology and the services. Thank You for the idea which come right on time. Thank You that You still want me to meet You though I almost couldn't make it in the first place. In the name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.

And Heaven rejoices today... :D

Can't believe it! Today I'm just experiencing a miracle...I mean this is really one of the best miracles I have ever experience. There is nothing compare to the miracle of being born again. Today, God gives me an honor to introduce Him to one of my friend...over chat! I can't help it, I cry of happy tears. Thank You, Lord, thank you very much. I mean, I never thought that this 'ordinary' day may bring something so wonderful like this. Unplanned in my agenda, yet I know, it's in God's agenda already, even before this world were created.

So, welcome to the family of God, San:D So glad you made the most important decision of your life today. I pray that you will keep on walking with Him, rooted in Him, and growing in Him. Remember, today, Heaven is rejoicing with us...and God of course :D (Luke 15:10)

Short One #2

For almost one week, facing many difficulties which resulted in unfavorable health condition. But thank God, in the midst of the 'storm', one little miracle sprung up. Still don't know how it will turn out, for at least in 2 months this seed of miracle can be known for its result, but in a moment, I choose to rejoice over this little hope. And turns out this little light of hope brings another miracle, which is something I really want with all my heart :D

So, lesson of the week that I got :

1. always be grateful for what you got, no matter how small or insignificant it may seemed, even in the worst condition ever, for you don't know that it may bring another miracle which you really want.
2. don't stress over things which you can't control (pray:God, please remind me over& over again) but instead, let God work it out for good (remember Romans 8:28). Then you will amaze by how great God is...and how He cares about you.

7 tips to my happiness

Just chat with one of my buddy and she asked me my 7 tips of happiness. In a quick time, I try to think of 7 tips which make my happiness. Here's my list :

1. Meeting God, esp at unexpected time and place and way!
2. Give my best effort in doing things I love
3. Talk about deep and big things with my friends,to learn from their point of views
4. Give something special to people unexpectedly and/or unknown (like secret surprise thing)
5. Be grateful for everything I encounter; esp trying to see God's perspective of everything which people deem as bad to worst.
6. Love to the fullest, being able to give without expecting return/result
7. Lose myself in some form of 'escapism', like reading, thinking, watching, listening

OK, that's me for this point of time, how about you?

Behind the Rivers

Reading Genesis 2:8-15 is like reading a geographic direction. As a matter of fact, there were many research has been done based on the information in this passage, especially by the archaeologists, to try to find out where is the true location of Eden in the first place. That is not our topic today. What I got from this passage are somewhat different yet closer to our life.

This is the passage which describe the first job ever given to man, and also the location where a man live and stay and make a living. It is created in the first place by God. I am really surprise that God didn't toss the man He created right in the middle of the earth He had created. Gladly, I read that God, God Himself planted a garden eastward in Eden. Out of this worldwide location, God choose a specific location and planted a garden there for man. When I look up the meaning of Eden, it surely has such a beautiful meaning, PLEASURE. Ponder this, God put man He created in the middle of Pleasure.

Further, it is describe how God formed the PLEASURE. God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. Then it also listed 2 important trees in the garden, the tree of life and tree of knowledge of good and evil. (OK, we'll not going to talk further on this one :D) What I want to point out is that God made this garden filled with trees which are pleasant and good. And not only that, God also complete the garden with a river which parted into four riverheads. Now, this is what I want to talk about. The rivers. What is behind the rivers?

OK, the first one is Pishon, which means INCREASE. God first blessing for this garden is giving the river, one supports of increase. It skirts in the whole land of Havilah (by the way, Havilah means circle :D), where there is gold. Now, we all know the value of gold. But it is mentioned further that the gold of the land is good. It is not only gold, but it is a good gold. Also, there are bdellium and onyx stone, the precious stones.

The second one is Gihon, which means BURSTING FORTH. It goes around the whole land of Cush ( and Cush means black.)

The third one is Hiddekel/Tigris, which means RAPID. It goes toward the east of Assyria (and Assyria means a step.)

The fourth one is the Euphrates, which means FRUITFULNESS.

[If you want to check whether these meanings are right or not, I encourage you to search the Hebrew Lexicon for Old Testament.]

Conclusively, God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden ( read: Pleasure) and He equipped with streams of Increase which circling throughout the land of good gold and jewels (means that the result will improved and it is valuable), of Bursting forth which covers the black area (means no matter how the dark part may seem, there is a power of breaking out that may happen suddenly), of Rapid step (means it is progressing quickly) which all leads to Fruitfulness (means productivity) for man to tend and keep. Talk about a dream job/place!

Now, I know we're living in the fallen world. Many of us may not have the dream job we want. Even more may not have a job at all at this moment. But it is so comforting to know that God has the best in His mind for us, humankind when He first created us. And I believe that His mind is still the same for us, His beloved children. I believe that God has prepared a garden, where we work and stay, of pleasure. Though we may not experience it now, and we may need to make a lot of change in order to reach that 'place', always remember that He has the best in store for us. And not only that,whenever you feel helpless and clueless, remember that it is God who has the idea, work on the idea, and bring the idea come to reality. (God took the man and put him...)

Lord, thank you for everything. Thank you for preparing the best place for me.Though the circumstances now may not be as I hoped it will be, help me to see Your vision for me. I believe and waiting eagerly for Your promises to come forward. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Lesson over changing bed sheet

Yesterday evening got a small yet important lesson...while changing bed sheet:P Though it happens so many times before, sometimes I'm still surprise that God really take time to speak to me even in activities we label as mundane and insignificant.

It started as I changing the bed sheet of my auntie bed (I'm staying overnight at her place by the way). This queen size bed ( I guess...I'm very bad in guessing size & space, soon you will see one of the example). So as I opened the sheet, I started to ask God how to finish this simple-yet-not-so-easy-apparently task. And I got a very soft answer of which way to cover the bed. You see, the bed may seem square, but actually it's rectangle. Since there is slight difference in length and wide, you have to figure out which way to pull the sheet so that it can cover the whole bed right away. If you figure it all wrong then you need to turn the sheet around. It just as simple as that. But as I do it the first time, according to the answer I already got from God, my analytical mind start to take over. Using my sight, I concluded that the way was wrong after I pulled one side. So I turned the sheet around and think that ...hmm...maybe I just not 'rightly' pick up that small still voice (voice which I thought it's God in the first place). Turns out that my second try was still unsuccessful. So I went out and asked my auntie whether there was a possibility of giving a wrong size of sheet to me. (This alternative seem pretty logical at that time since there are several beds, which vary in size in the house.) My auntie pretty surprised and replied that she had used that sheet for years and never got any problem covering the bed anyway. (which delete the possibility of sheet maybe shrinking due to washing process.) Laughing, she suggested that I turn the sheet around to see whether it may fit properly. Embarrassed, I returned to the bedroom and started over again, as I should in the first place. This time, ignoring my eye sight and any conclusion which was running over my mind, I managed to pull as hard as I could so that it could cover the bed. And it worked! Now, right after this incident, as I straightening the bed, I prayed, God, please forgive me. Please forgive me for not trusting Your direction. You were right in the first place. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me for not trusting You.

Now, actually I would like to keep this small yet shameful experience a secret. But I think I need to write it down here so that I would get reminded over the time. Since this is not the first time I got myself into trouble due to my unbelief in God's words. Yes, this is one of the small things which I fail now and then.

Looking back, I'm really grateful that God is SOOOO patient with me. I mean, in this faith thing, I'm such a slow learner (read : repeating the same mistakes over and over again). I believe that when I pray, He is listening. I believe that when I asked, He will answer. But so many times, I doubt His answers. There are things which is so trivial (like this bed sheet case) that I doubt that it is really His answer, that He would even mind to answer me. (so, why in the first place i bother to ask by the way? :P) And of course, since I had problems in trusting minor things, in major things, it become more complicated. I believe there is nothing impossible for God, but it's obvious that when God speak of big things, I would doubt whether it is really from Him or maybe, it's just an idea TOO good to be true.

Well, I'm still learning to walk with Him. One step at a faith. Forward I pray. Upward I wish.

Lord, thank You very much for loving me. I'm really grateful for who You are and what You have done. For being patient with me, though I have failed like a thousand times. For still answering me, even when I don't have faith to receive. Help my unbelief. Thank You.In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Short one #1

How amazing that when you're in lowest point, a short email reply can simply lift you up. Thanks a lot, DB :D
Thank you very much LORD, for I know You always watching over me, even when I don't feel it. Thanks for an unexpected encouragement token today.

The line between...

This morning replying an email somehow makes me a bit 'sentimental'.

It's an usual reply actually, to my dearest friend far away in another continent. Just sharing my points of prayer really. Nothing special, but somehow in the middle, it just happen that I pour out my feelings inside. Unplanned, maybe because all this time I just kept it to myself and perhaps...couple people close to me. Kept it to myself cause I don't think people would understand. Some may wonder, some may politely seem to accept, and many don't even care. I don't care. (Previously) Don't want to talk about it, don't want to explain. Guess in keeping so long in my heart that I just want to share it out sometimes, with someone which i think i can trust.

Anyway, what really inside me is this matter : the line between the two. Never thought the song I have played over and over again for the past couple of days really explain what is in my mind. My points of thoughts. The underlying reason of my actions. Something that has been nagging in my heart all this time. Especially the bridge part...

The Line Between The Two - Mark Harris *)

A beginning and an ending, dates upon a stone
But the moment in the middle is how we will be known
Cause what defines us can be found within a line
Finding reason for our time

chorus:

And the years go by, how they seem to fly
They'll all be over soon
When our life is done, did we live and love
The way we wanted to
Cause everyday that we leave behind
Goes on to tell the truth
Of how we lived in the line between the two
The line between the two

Will I walk straight, will I be true
Will I finish strong
Will I stand up for the moment
When I could right a wrong
Because the legacy we have will never change
It's how we spend our days

chorus

I could live a life for just myself
Or I could live a life for someone else
But I'll live and die just to hear You say
Well done my son come and be with Me

chorus

*)Want to include the video showing the song, unfortunately, can't find any in YouTube. So, if you wondering about the song, just go to http://www.markharrisonline.com/. You can listen to it right away (song #5).

Speak to me (read: breathe into me)

In our walk with God, often we find ourselves struggle to find time to be alone with Him, talk to Him, listen to Him, and meditating His Word. Amid our hectic life, the discipline often slip into one or another form of religiosity. Yes, we have prayed every time we wake up from and before we went to sleep. Adding to that, prayers that we say in hurry before we eat ( the hungrier, the 'hurrier' :P) On the top of that, we do pray outside that schedule, when we're facing problems ( usually after all efforts that we can think of we have done and result in none) and when we really want something ( God, I want that car or God, where is my Mr/Mrs. Right? Could you sent him/her right now?). Rarely, we give Him time to speak at all. Well, OK, we read the bible, but in a fast breakfast manner. Example: student who rush to go to school in the morning because he has woke up late and while running, eating the quick prepared sandwich-only contain whatever topping can be seen on the table and grab in that short time. Yes, he chewed as he run and when he arrived at school- he has done his breakfast, right on time. Or even better, grab the milk, quickly drink it, sometimes spill over here and there, but hey, breakfast has been done. What's important is that nutrition got into the body, right?

I admit that the scenario happen more than I want it to be happen in my life. But well, after all, just like some people say, praying is breathing (so if you done it several times a day regularly, yes, you have been breathing). And reading the Word of God is like taking our daily food ( even the bible equates it with milk or bread). We forgot that the essence of it all is the relationship. Praying is communication with the God we love. Reading the bible is reading His very own word to us. As I learn to put the discipline of connecting with Him into right perspectives, I learn something else that really thrills me.

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. - Genesis 2 : 7 (NKJV)

When we meet Him and let Him speak to us, at the same time we let Him breathe into us. How do we know? Just do this little experiment. Put the palm of your hand in front of your mouth and try to speak, can you feel the wind coming out of your mouth as you speak? A-HA! Got what I mean?

As it is mentioned above, our essence of life is the breath of God. If we want to live life to the fullest, as we supposed to be, we need to have conversation face to face with God, so that we can get the breath of life every time God speak to us. Yes, what He speak about is important, it's the power and nutrition for our life. But at the same time, apart from what He is speaking about, as He speaks, He breathes life into our being.

"The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace." - Numbers 6:24-26 (NKJV)

This popular verses are often speak to us at the end of worship service every week. Once I learned from a woman of God that the verses above in the source language (Hebrew if I'm not mistaken) describe how God bent down and look to us into our face. I just realized now that the verses not only show that He wants to be as close as He can be to us. But also He knows that we need that breath which comes out from Him. For us to be alive, truly alive in Him.

It's wonderful to have a word from God, but even when He stay silent, as long as we're meeting Him and let Him breathe into us, that's already revive us. And this action once were done by Jesus right after He resurrect to His disciples. (see John 20:22)

So, next time, whether you are praying or just simply reading the bible, make sure you are meeting God. Even though He hasn't speak a word yet, just meet Him face to face so that He can breathe the breath of life into you, into your life.

Do you want to take the bread... i mean...the breath of life now?

More than just signs

Today,reading from John 3 :1-3 has changed my perspective on seeing things.

It is interesting to note that the explanation of this perspective was took place at night. Nicodemus, a Pharisees, a ruler, this high rank man came to see Jesus for an 'explanation'. He just started an opening acknowledging Jesus as Teacher from God. Jesus' response seems 'irrelevant', if we see at a glance. But as usual, my Master in Heaven always know what is the intention of heart. He answered it right at the spot of the heart of the matter.

"Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."- John 3 :3 (NKJV)

Nicodemus, the religious leader, conclude that Jesus must be from God because of the signs that Jesus do. On the contrary, Jesus pointed out that is not in the signs that prove that He is from God, it is in the person who sees it. Often, we also do the same as Nicodemus did. We conclude somebody or something come from God out of the evidence of signs. Jesus do these signs, therefore He must be from God. But Jesus pointed that it took more than just 'signs' to determine whether it is from God or not. The determining factor is not lie in the object, but it lies in the subject who see. It's not in the event that happen, it's in the eyes who see the event. The Kingdom of God is seen through born again eyes, perceived through born again minds, felt by born again senses, understood through born again heart.

Now, don't get me wrong. There are signs and wonders from God. There are events that only God alone can do. There is nothing wrong at looking something miraculous and conclude it is the work of God. Though we have to have discernment, because not all signs come from God. But what I learn from these verses is that until we are born again, we will never fully grasp the reality of God. The reality of God is already here, whether we see it or not. A born again eyes would open us to that reality. Before we born again, we're just like blind people, unaware of the Kingdom of God. The hymn I was blind, but now I see is so true. The Kingdom of God has always here. The hands of God have always at work. The heart of God has been beating all this time. It is us who are too blind to see. We are seeking hard to search for convincing signs, and we forgot the very problem is on our eyes. We need to be born again to have eyes that are able to see the Kingdom of God.

As I reflect on my own journey with God, I admit that there are times that I so easily caught up in things that happen instead of seeing the Kingdom of God in my life. As I waiting for events of life to unfold, anxious to see the very next chapter of my life, worry of what the future may hold for me, the word of God come and nudge me. Remind my very soul, that in the midst of uncertainty, there is an assurance of God's presence. In the midst of turmoil, there is clarity of God's vision. In the scene of hopelessness, there is a hope of God that nobody can ever take away. In the midst of restlessness, there is peace that surpass all understanding. My physical eyes may see the first part of those sentences, at the same time my eyes of faith may see the latter part of them.

I used to pray, God, show me the evidence that this is Your way. I need Your signs to assure myself that I'm on the right track. Now I pray, God, open my eyes that I may see You beyond all of these. I realized my own blindness. I need Your touch to heal me of my blindness so that I can see the Kingdom of God.

So, have you seen the Kingdom of God today?

Be blessed ...

As the first post, I would like to start with blessings :D For all who happen to drop by, hope this blog could bless you...




"Be Blessed" - Yolanda Adams

Too many storms have passed your way
And you're all washed out cause it rained on your parade
Seems nobody cares about you anyway
Now you're living your life like a castaway
Searched for strength inside was it all in vain
Cause the deeper you dig you find more and more pain
Don't let your tomorrow be like yesterday
Cause I spoke to God, I called out your name
And on your behalf, I just asked if He would be there for you
I want you to

Chorus:

Be Blessed,
Don't live life in distress
Just let go, let God, He'll work it out for you
I pray that your soul will be blessed
Forever in His rest, Cause you deserve His best no less

Enter a place where you never have to cry
Never have to live a lie, never have to wonder why
Never want for nothing you're always satisfied
In the peace that His arms will provide
He will erase any guilt or shame, any bad habits you've got
You won't wanna do em again, Yes we all can change, I can testify
See I spoke to God, I called out your name
And on your behalf, I just asked,
If He would be there for you
I want you to

Repeat Chorus

My prayer for you today, Is that you trust and always obey
On this day keep calling [choir] On this day keep calling [solo]
He'll keep you from falling [choir] He'll keep you from falling [solo]
He'll supply the answers [choir]Yes He will, if you stand in faith and trust Him to make a way out of no way [solo]

Repeat Chorus

Be blessed from the bottom of your feet to the crown of your head
Your life be blessed
Your family be blessed
Your finances be blessed
Everything about you

(Lyrics taken from http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/yolandaadams/beblessed.html)

Yes... everything about you, may you be blessed by God today :D