Yesterday evening got a small yet important lesson...while changing bed sheet:P Though it happens so many times before, sometimes I'm still surprise that God really take time to speak to me even in activities we label as mundane and insignificant.
It started as I changing the bed sheet of my auntie bed (I'm staying overnight at her place by the way). This queen size bed ( I guess...I'm very bad in guessing size & space, soon you will see one of the example). So as I opened the sheet, I started to ask God how to finish this simple-yet-not-so-easy-apparently task. And I got a very soft answer of which way to cover the bed. You see, the bed may seem square, but actually it's rectangle. Since there is slight difference in length and wide, you have to figure out which way to pull the sheet so that it can cover the whole bed right away. If you figure it all wrong then you need to turn the sheet around. It just as simple as that. But as I do it the first time, according to the answer I already got from God, my analytical mind start to take over. Using my sight, I concluded that the way was wrong after I pulled one side. So I turned the sheet around and think that ...hmm...maybe I just not 'rightly' pick up that small still voice (voice which I thought it's God in the first place). Turns out that my second try was still unsuccessful. So I went out and asked my auntie whether there was a possibility of giving a wrong size of sheet to me. (This alternative seem pretty logical at that time since there are several beds, which vary in size in the house.) My auntie pretty surprised and replied that she had used that sheet for years and never got any problem covering the bed anyway. (which delete the possibility of sheet maybe shrinking due to washing process.) Laughing, she suggested that I turn the sheet around to see whether it may fit properly. Embarrassed, I returned to the bedroom and started over again, as I should in the first place. This time, ignoring my eye sight and any conclusion which was running over my mind, I managed to pull as hard as I could so that it could cover the bed. And it worked! Now, right after this incident, as I straightening the bed, I prayed, God, please forgive me. Please forgive me for not trusting Your direction. You were right in the first place. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me for not trusting You.
Now, actually I would like to keep this small yet shameful experience a secret. But I think I need to write it down here so that I would get reminded over the time. Since this is not the first time I got myself into trouble due to my unbelief in God's words. Yes, this is one of the small things which I fail now and then.
Looking back, I'm really grateful that God is SOOOO patient with me. I mean, in this faith thing, I'm such a slow learner (read : repeating the same mistakes over and over again). I believe that when I pray, He is listening. I believe that when I asked, He will answer. But so many times, I doubt His answers. There are things which is so trivial (like this bed sheet case) that I doubt that it is really His answer, that He would even mind to answer me. (so, why in the first place i bother to ask by the way? :P) And of course, since I had problems in trusting minor things, in major things, it become more complicated. I believe there is nothing impossible for God, but it's obvious that when God speak of big things, I would doubt whether it is really from Him or maybe, it's just an idea TOO good to be true.
Well, I'm still learning to walk with Him. One step at a faith. Forward I pray. Upward I wish.
Lord, thank You very much for loving me. I'm really grateful for who You are and what You have done. For being patient with me, though I have failed like a thousand times. For still answering me, even when I don't have faith to receive. Help my unbelief. Thank You.In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.
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