Everything new.

Got a wind of some energy today (guess all my mom's cooking really contribute to this, besides resting for the past several days) and thinking to update my blog.

Surprised to find new display for blogger. I am a bit disappointed, 'cause I am looking for old view. But I guess I have to get use to the new...which bring me to the purpose of this post.

As I had promised (I know, it seemed ages ago, but it's only months actually :P), the good news is that currently I am pregnant! That's new. I never experience it before.

And given my frailty, for the first time in my life I am so glad I am a woman. Why? Well, I just past my second trimester, which people say it's a bliss. To tell the truth, in the beginning of my pregnancy, I felt a bit worse. All the toothache, fatigue, and pain came back with vengeance, not to mention additional trouble like vomiting and loss of appetite. I was housebound for the first trimester.

But then the things change and I get into second trimester. And this is the part where I am so grateful for being a woman. Cause I feel better:D I mean really better. Yes, I still feel the fatigue and have more muscle ache here and there (due to extra weight I am carrying I guess), but overall it is much much much better. Apparently I belong to the lucky group (one study said 30% of people like me do feel better during pregnancy, somehow, perhaps due to the hormones change). I guess it's a bit discriminating, cause for men who suffered the similar plague can never experience these moments.

I don't know what awaits for me for the third trimester, I do hope things get better or at least not getting worse. But who knows, I entrusted that fully to my God, who is gracious to me all this time.

What else? I think I become more accustomed to my NEW life lately. Not the pregnancy part (though that is included). I mean accepting my chronic fatigue and other conditions which come with it.

No, I haven't give up hope to get well one day. As a matter of fact, now that I  am pregnant, I am more determined to go for the treatment (which I had to postpone due to pregnancy). I still believe there is a lot of lessons await for me along this journey. But I came to accept the limitation of the illness. Every little things that I couldn't do, no matter how hard I work on my intention. I come across this wonderful 'light bulb moment' just the other day.
I don't know whether it's viable for me or not. But it sure give me comfort, knowing that even though it doesn't work, it has bring lighter and brighter perspective to my days:)

So, the conclusion of this post is that, let's welcome the new, even though we might not like it in the first place. After all, it's also one of God providence in our lives. Good or bad, we can't judge till the end. And I am still far from the end:)