Psalm 8:2

After being absent from blogging world, I am so glad today I can blog again :)

I just realized 2014 was the year where I completely did not post anything, which is no surprise because I was pregnant with my 2nd baby :D

And 2015 pass so quickly (can not believe that it's May already, which means almost half year gone).

Yes, my Smiley baby is no longer a baby now, she became a toddler, big sister to her baby sister, Calmy.

Being mother to Smiley toddler and Calmy baby is time consuming. Thats why I no longer able to blog, even if I want to.

To my surprise, today I can do it. And I want to grab this chance to write something happened several days ago when Calmy reached her 4 months milestones.

It was lunch hour, where as a family we usually sit down together to eat. Since Calmy is still nursing, we put her on her stroller and let her gather with us. My hubby ask the children to pray before eating, which is our habit. What happened next:

Daddy: Come let us pray, mei-mei*) also pray.

Smiley: No, mei-mei can not pray.

Daddy: Yes, she can. The bible says out of mouth of infants. 

Then I came out of kitchen and sit down, joining them. When we are about to fold our hands to pray suddenly Calmy baby fold her hands and babble loudly. 

What a surprise! As if she knew that her big sister doubted that she could pray, that she demonstrated it. Loud and clear. Even my hubby who asked the children to pray surprised.

That night, when we all gathered for our family devotion, suddenly Smiley took initiative to lead in prayer. We never asked her to do it before (usually it is either me or my husband who did it). Guess she saw her little baby sister did it and she would like to do it as well.

That day marked my children milestones. 4 months, is the first time Calmy baby said a prayer. Though we do not understand her baby language, God knows:) And Smiley toddler lead in prayer. This time, in a language we understand:) 

Praise the Lord!

*) mei-mei means younger sister in Chinese.

Lesson I learnt from my baby: Of being happy

She is happy when she wakes up, I know because she gives me that beautiful smile. So charming, every morning...without fail so far.

She smiles while she is nursing, and giggling at the end of the feeding. She is happy drinking milk only. (She is one happy customer of breast milk :D)

She smiles when she is asleep. Her lips curl up, forming a curve which I love to see. Eyes shut, yet you can feel twinkling eyes behind those lids.

Every little things which I have taken for granted, can make her laugh. An empty box. A plastic saucer. Paper. Tissue. Really, I hope she kept her wonderful taste as she grows up, so I need not to buy those sophisticated toys for her:P

Of course, life with little one does not consist of sunshine without rain. Everyday she cry. When she is hungry. Being left alone in her crib. Fall down. Knock her head. Feel cold. Teething. Too tired.

Yet being with her taught me about the secret of happiness.

I learnt that happiness is a default state, not something you achieve. That's how you got it from the start. You just be. Without any reason to be. You may become unhappy with things that happened, but you can always revert to the zero scale of unhappiness. 

You don't have to wait to be grown up to be happy. You don't have to follow 10 steps to be happy. You don't even have to busy yourself with happiness projects. It's not something you pursue and achieve. 

Now I have no idea why we as an adults come up with those things, and yet we seemed to be so lost on happiness. We found in our pursuit of happiness it becomes something that are so fleeting; the moment you think you got it, it slipped through your hands. And we set on our next endeavor, just to attain that fleeting moments. Talk about the never ending treadmill.

My prayer is that my baby will always have her happy disposition, regardless of what life throw at her. And me as her mom, learn the secret of happiness. Just be, no need to do. How liberating and comforting. It's a gift from God since we are born. Somehow along the way we lost that gift. The state of being happy, without any effort. I found that gift again. It doesn't mean that you never sad, nor in trouble. It doesn't mean your life is smooth cruising without problem. It doesn't even mean that you are always successful, never fail. It just mean that being happy is your default state. Despite whatever bad or sad that has happened, you always have that happiness inside you. Just be, without the needing to be.

I hope you find your birth gift today. I wonder now, is that why we sing Happy Birthday?

Introducing the new topic

First post of the year...on second month of the year...

First of all, happy to share that despite my busyness with moving preparation, taking care of little one, cooking, and household chores, I finally made it to bring Smileybaby to outside activities. Last week we went to our very first MOPS. Smileybaby is so happy (even though she is a happy baby, but I am just happy to see her laughter seeing so many toddlers running around and play; I can tell she was excited:D).

Yesterday we managed (though a bit late) to attend welcome class of the bible study fellowship. I am hoping we can get a place with mothers with infants group. But knowing so many people interested, with limited place, I had surrender to God in prayer. I asked that if God thinks I can really pull it through (by faith, with God's given strength) then let it be that I found a place there. But if not, then I know it means my energy will be needed elsewhere :D

And I can figure out that the energy will goes to...Smileybaby of course.

I have been pondering of homeschooling her. And glad that I am progressing in that direction.

I know I know. It's a scary jump of faith. On one hand, it's my precious daughter life (already I had serious opponents). On the other hand, this mother whose English is not even her native language, having energy level challenge, and yet still, want to do this thing in a foreign country where homeschooling is uncommon.

So I do my reading and research on this thing called homeschooling. I love the process. (I always love researching, esp issues that grab my attention.)

I read somewhere that homeschooler need to figure out why they homeschool. And I can come up with myriad reasons...but I think I need to figure out several that speaks to my heart mostly. And I feel in my journey, to blog it openly will help. Not only as a reflection to what I am doing with my little girl, but also a blessing for those who perhaps like me, thinking hard (and praying hard) yet unsure whether this is the direction to go.

For now, just pray I have that extra energy to do the writing part to share :)